"I tend to be humble sometimes,” Mustard tells The FADER after saying that he has the fifth-, fourth-, and second-best waves in history. “Unless I get in a room full of dudes that got waves, and I have to show they ass that this ain't no fucking game.” What follows is a minor meltdown when The FADER asks him how he’d feel if he woke up tomorrow morning bald — ”I would look like Mr. Potato Head,” he says — but a surprising moment of humility at the No. 1 spot. He hedges his praise for the winner, who he says probably has “Ciroc wave grease or something, some rich shit that I just can’t afford right now.” Still, praise is praise.

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