Relationships: How to Rekindle Sex Life - as part of the expert series by GeoBeats. The most important sex organ in your body is right here. It is the distance between here and here. That what you say, what comes out of your mouth, has the most power to rekindle romance in your romance. What we found is that if you say something that cannot be argued about, if you share a feeling or you even share a body sensation then it might not be very profound, like my palms are sweaty or, you know, I just felt a pain in my jaw. You may not think that is profound but it is unarguable and when you say something like that your partner will respond to the authenticity, your transparency, your opening yourself and being real together. I am remembering a session that I did years ago with a couple who came in and it was their first session. They sat on opposite ends of the couch from each other and it was very evident from their body language that they had not been feeling intimate towards each other in quite some time. As I was exploring with them, I was teaching them a skill that we talk about in our books, for example our book Conscious Loving, the skill of teaching them the microscopic truth. We call it the microscopic truth because it is describing something as if you were looking through a microscope and really looking at and experiencing and talking about what is actually happening, rather than your thought about it or your judgment about it. As I was explaining that to them and we were exploring that the guy said, “Oh, you mean like when my jaw feels tight?” and I said, “Yes, that is exactly it.” Right after that he said, “You know, I really do not know why I am so angry,” and his wife burst into tears and said, “Thank you, this is the first time I have felt connected to you and I so appreciate you sharing what is really going on with you.” And so we continued with that, and then we ended the session and they came in next time, and when I came into the room, she was sitting on his lap. So it let me know that the truth had really opened up their connection. What we found is that sexual issues are almost never about sex, they are about something that you withheld. And then when you withhold that you get distant from your partner and when you get distant your partner looks different. They may look less exciting, less juicy to you, but when you open up and lubricate this part of your body by saying something that is actually going on, even if it is something like, “I feel really stuck and I do not know what to do. I have been in a lot of pain and I do not know if we are going to be able to work through this,” that is actually what is going on for you. And even though people think, “Oh, I do not want to say that because it is going to hurt the other person's feelings or it is going to make everything worse, what we found is that telling the truth actually does liberate your relationship and brings you closer. You will be amazed at how instantly that can happen. So find something that you can communicate about that is unarguable, body sensations are a great place to start, core feelings, particularly sadness, anger and fear, particularly something that you are scared about. That really opens up the tender connections between you and you will find that you feel more intimate with each other really really quickly.