• last month
JAYMAR and Ocean met on Facebook and instantly connected. Ocean told Love Don't Judge: "We talked on the phone every night." Their relationship moved fast and after just three months of dating, the pair were married. Both being trans people, they were able to understand and support each other. Jaymar revealed: "She understands me. She doesn't get my pronouns wrong. She makes me feel like a man." Despite their blissful happiness, strangers can be cruel to the couple. Ocean revealed: "We have negative comments and a lot of judgement from strangers." In this episode of Love Don't Judge, Jaymar's son, Qwano, will be revealing his opinion on the relationship. Opening up, Jaymar admitted: "My son knows about my relationship but I don't know what he feels about it. I'm curious to hear."
Transcript
00:00This is Ocean. She fell in love with Jaymar.
00:05We're a trans couple. We both just got married after three months.
00:09People thought we were moving too fast.
00:12A lot of the judgment was from strangers.
00:14What is the point of us dating now? We should have dated before we transitioned.
00:18My son knows about our relationship, but I don't know what he feels about it.
00:22Was you nervous about our relationship at first?
00:25Maybe a little bit.
00:28I'm Ocean. This is my husband, Jaymar.
00:31And we are both proud trans people.
00:34We first met on Facebook.
00:36She liked a lot of my stuff.
00:38And I got in her inbox.
00:41Once I opened the inbox, that's when we automatically started connecting.
00:44And we just started to get to know each other.
00:46We talked on the phone every night.
00:48We fell asleep.
00:49And once we found out that we're both into tarot cards and spiritual things,
00:54we just connected automatically.
00:56I knew she was trans when I first seen her.
00:59I knew because when I started going through my husband's videos,
01:02I seen his scars and stuff.
01:04We became official like a weekend of talking.
01:06Two months down the road, we got married.
01:09I have health issues, a lot of them.
01:11And I've always been scared to love.
01:13When I realized how much peace she brought me, I asked her,
01:16I'm like, you want to marry me?
01:17Forget the rings, forget the weddings, let's just get married.
01:19So we did it.
01:20It was not no doubt a bone in my body that I would marry this man.
01:25He's a special person.
01:26And I said, will we go together real bad?
01:28And ever since, it's been real bad.
01:32This is my first time ever dating a trans woman.
01:35This is my first time dating a trans man.
01:38I had talked to a trans man, but I know that wasn't my soulmate.
01:42I thought I would be attracted to like feminine guys, but it wasn't enough.
01:46Like, you know, something was missing.
01:48All of a sudden, told me I was going to end up with a trans woman.
01:51I'm in with Ocean.
01:53She understands me.
01:55She don't get my pronouns wrong.
01:57She makes me feel like a man.
01:59Everybody else I dated, they always reminded me what I was.
02:05So I never felt this free being with her.
02:08It makes life easier when somebody can understand you.
02:11The stuff I used to wear before I transitioned,
02:15it's like stuff like this.
02:18And I got a little top to go with it.
02:20I used to be on and off with dressing like a boy and girl to please other people,
02:25but the boy version was really me.
02:27And this is the guy clothes I used to wear before I transitioned.
02:32I used to love like the rings and the jeans fitted at the bottom.
02:37I started transitioning in 2017.
02:40Then life just started kicking my butt.
02:42So I took two years off in 2020.
02:49That's when I started going full force and everything said I had to stop.
02:52My first surgery was breast implants.
02:56I got those done in 2017.
02:59I had a nose job and I also had an orchid optician.
03:03I started transitioning in 2017 and I stopped in 2018 and had my daughter.
03:10Then I started back up in 2020.
03:12This was when I was five months pregnant.
03:15This one was when I was switched back.
03:18Trying to be a little boyish.
03:20Feel comfortable a little bit, but I wasn't fully comfortable.
03:23Look at you with your breast boxers.
03:26My top surgery made me feel free.
03:29As soon as I walked out the door, everybody instantly noticed a man.
03:33Even though my face looked a manly, they knew I was a girl.
03:36So that surgery definitely changed everything.
03:39My family did not think I was serious until I took the top off.
03:44We don't hide that we're trans.
03:46It's actually public information so they can just see it on our page.
03:49It's important for us to share our relationship to help other people that's afraid to come out.
03:54When we started our relationship, we had a few negative comments.
03:58A lot of the judgment was from strangers.
04:01People thought we were moving too fast.
04:03What is this s***?
04:05Just weird all around.
04:08Somebody put the resting head emoji.
04:12To confuse people, that's just being straight with the extra steps.
04:17What is the point of us dating now? We should have dated before we transitioned.
04:22Who's the top? Who's the bottom?
04:24People that judge me, I give them a solid treatment.
04:26I just ignore them and walk away.
04:28I let him do all the responding.
04:30We respond to the mean comments with kindness.
04:34The negativity definitely brought us closer.
04:37You can't break our bond.
04:39When I told my family about being married, my sister, we were close.
04:44She's like my twin.
04:45She was shouting to my, hey bro-in-law.
04:48She was already calling him bro-in-law before we even got married.
04:50When I first told my family about Ocean, at first they were a little concerned.
04:55They were like, are you sure?
04:56Some of my kids, they thought that I was moving fast.
04:59I came down here in such a short time frame and then, you know, got married.
05:04I have three kids, five, 17, and 20.
05:08I have three kids, one 17, the other one is 21, and my adopted child is 25.
05:15And then we're expecting a newborn here next year, around January.
05:20My sister is our surrogate.
05:22And we have a sperm donor.
05:24Today we're going to talk with my son, Quanah, and see what he really thinks about our relationship.
05:29My son knows about our relationship, but I don't know what he feels about it.
05:33I don't know what my son will say.
05:35I'm curious to hear.
05:37Jamar is my mom, but he's a man now.
05:41That's my dad.
05:43I was about 16, 17 when my mom transitioned to a trans male.
05:48I was happy for him.
05:49But the marriage was a little fast.
05:52Hey.
05:56Hey.
05:57What's up?
05:58Hi.
05:59So what did you think when I was first transitioning?
06:02She was already, like, a male type of person in her heart.
06:06You know, we all changed, going to, still.
06:11I'm happy you do what you want to do.
06:13Did you have any concerns when I was first transitioning?
06:16Yeah, maybe, like, on the health part.
06:20I adopted things.
06:22Marquan, was you nervous about our relationship at first?
06:27Maybe a little bit.
06:29If I wasn't like my mom, with moving fast, too, I would have probably been more worried.
06:36But I'm like, we're the same type of person.
06:39I was more nervous when it came to y'all, because, you know, the kids have to accept your parents' spouse.
06:47And not only I have to build a relationship with my husband, I also have to build a relationship with you guys.
06:52I just want all of us to be on the same page, which we are.
06:55You and Leo just like me, so we connect spiritually, too.
06:58What did you think about me dating a trans woman for the first time?
07:01I wouldn't say I wasn't, I wouldn't expect it.
07:04You know, it's cool, you know.
07:08I don't judge.
07:09What do you think of our relationship now?
07:11I just think y'all is locked in for real.
07:14I'm happy for y'all.
07:15I'm still saying it's good, you know.
07:18We accept you and love you now.
07:21Love you.
07:22Love you, too.
07:23I loved his input and how he felt about the situation, and he was very honest.
07:28Yeah.
07:29My favorite thing about Ocean is how gentle and kind she is.
07:33My favorite thing about Jamari is he's gentle, he's kind, he's sweet, he has a big heart.
07:39And he let me pick his food every time we go out to eat.
07:44I love that.
07:45When I taste the people that judge our relationship, I was like, well, you do have your own opinion, but that's why that's your household and that's my household.
07:52And in my household, we love everyone.
07:54We accept everyone for who they are.
07:56I don't deal with negativity.
07:57If you're negative, I give you the silent treatment.
08:00The future for us looks bright, and I see a lot of happiness.

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