Seven Nights of… Audiobook part3/3
Seven Nights of… Audiobook part3/3
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00:00:00The sky looks heavy with unfallen rain.
00:00:03I pick at the torn edge of the menu as I wait for Michael to show up.
00:00:07He texted me that he'll be a few minutes late, so I probably should have taken my time coming here.
00:00:13I could have taken the scenic route from Bianca's apartment by the pond.
00:00:17No. I would just see the ducks and think about the girls.
00:00:21And him. And I desperately don't want to think about him.
00:00:25I don't want to think about how Dominic's eyes light up when he looks at me,
00:00:29or his laugh when his girls do something silly,
00:00:32or the way he squeezes me tight against his chest when we're tangled in his bed.
00:00:36I especially don't want to think about my last memory of him.
00:00:39The cold silhouette of his back against the TV newscast that froze out any chance of our relationship amounting to something.
00:00:46Did you really think that would happen?
00:00:49I scoff loud enough that a barista at the counter turns to look at me with an odd expression.
00:00:54I dip my head down, pretending to clear my throat.
00:00:57So much for making this café my usual haunt.
00:01:00I'm practically one step away from talking to myself.
00:01:03As I sip my coffee, it occurs to me that this is the very same café where I first met Austin.
00:01:09It was when Michael had asked me for more money and we sat across the room in the armchairs.
00:01:14I can even see the case where they keep the banana bread where we struck up our first conversation.
00:01:19As for Austin, what a colossal disaster that turned out to be.
00:01:24My heart aches at the memory of Dominic's face when he found the Genesis folder in my bag.
00:01:29It was so hurtful that he thought so little of me,
00:01:32that he thought I would betray him and risk everything to help a presumptuous stranger.
00:01:36But he did hear you out. He did forgive you.
00:01:40I tell that annoying voice in my head to shut the hell up.
00:01:43Dominic also spoke to me like I meant nothing to him.
00:01:46He tossed money at me like I was a whore,
00:01:49and then I was so desperate for his forgiveness, I spent days afterward groveling.
00:01:54No, I'm done making excuses for his behavior.
00:01:57I can't put in more effort than he...
00:02:00When the menu tears in my hands,
00:02:02I swear under my breath and tuck it under the little succulent centerpiece,
00:02:06hoping no one noticed.
00:02:08Now I'm turning into a crazy person,
00:02:10sitting alone in a café, destroying private property and muttering to myself.
00:02:15I stare out the window, watching the hustle and bustle of the street.
00:02:19With each passerby, I imagine what it would be like to be that person.
00:02:23The man walking his tiny round dog,
00:02:25the woman on her morning jog,
00:02:27the teenagers locking their bikes across the street.
00:02:30Simpler lives.
00:02:32What would I trade for a life with fewer complications?
00:02:35I could do without the couch I've come to associate with a perpetually stiff neck,
00:02:40or I could trade in my homophobic father.
00:02:43Instead, I have a rollercoaster of emotions inside me
00:02:46and a complicated relationship with a man I can't seem to say no to.
00:02:50While all of these thoughts rattle in my brain,
00:02:53a tall iced coffee lands before me,
00:02:55followed by a handsome twenty-year-old.
00:02:58Hey, sis, Michael says, all smiles.
00:03:01He takes off his blue beanie with a sigh and leans back into his chair.
00:03:05His hair is a mess, and when I lay eyes on him,
00:03:08I smile for the first time all morning.
00:03:11Hey, crazy hair.
00:03:13Smiling, I reach over the table and pat the stray tufts down.
00:03:17I barely slept, Michael admits,
00:03:19looking up at me through his lashes as I attempt to finger-comb his bangs out of his eyes.
00:03:24I didn't shower so I could sleep in.
00:03:27Ew, is this sex hair?
00:03:29I grimace dramatically, wiping my hand on his shirt.
00:03:32Michael shrugs with a cheeky grin.
00:03:35I'm glad someone is in a happy relationship.
00:03:38Is that promotion hair, he asks.
00:03:41I roll my eyes.
00:03:43I have my hair up in a messy bun, like it always is when I'm not working.
00:03:47Yep, this is my eighty-grand-a-year look, I smirk.
00:03:51Michael's eyes go wide.
00:03:53Whoa, really?
00:03:55Thereabouts, I say.
00:03:57Is it inappropriate for me to share my salary with my struggling artist brother?
00:04:01Before I can answer the question for myself, Michael does.
00:04:05You are so cool.
00:04:07Wow, you deserve that, he blurts, his eyes shining with emotion.
00:04:12You've always deserved it.
00:04:14Finally, someone sees that.
00:04:16I'm not so sure, I mutter.
00:04:19What do you mean?
00:04:20Your boss must think you're the best if she gave you that salary.
00:04:23He? And no, I don't think he thinks I'm the best, I argue with aggressive air quotes.
00:04:30Michael waits for me to continue, sipping on his iced coffee.
00:04:34He's a really complicated person, I say.
00:04:37One minute I think I know what he wants, and the next I realize I'm completely wrong.
00:04:42That's annoying, Michael says.
00:04:44That's one word for it.
00:04:46Can I tell him everything?
00:04:48I rub my thumb on the stains on my coffee cup.
00:04:51Michael takes my hand.
00:04:53Presley, are you okay?
00:04:55Yeah, why, I ask with a very unconvincing quaver in my voice.
00:05:00I have to be strong for Michael.
00:05:02I can't break down in front of him.
00:05:04What's going on? What happened with that guy you were seeing?
00:05:08Did my advice help?
00:05:09I laugh, a tear escaping my eye and landing with a soft splash on my hand.
00:05:15If only it were that simple.
00:05:17It's complicated.
00:05:19You said that.
00:05:20Come on, Presley, tell me.
00:05:22We're the only family we've got, Michael pleads, his hand warm against mine.
00:05:27I finally raise my eyes to his.
00:05:30My boss is the guy I was seeing.
00:05:33I can see the color drain from Michael's face.
00:05:36Oh, God, what have I done?
00:05:38Did he hurt you?
00:05:40No, no, not like that.
00:05:42It was entirely my choice.
00:05:44As soon as I met him, I fell for him.
00:05:46If you knew him, you'd understand.
00:05:49He's so handsome, and he's really committed to his work and his family,
00:05:53and the way he speaks, it's so honest.
00:05:56I got to see it firsthand as his intern, so I fell for him, hard,
00:06:01and I thought, well, I thought he was falling for me, too.
00:06:05The words pour out of me as freely as my tears.
00:06:08Michael hands me his napkin, and I blow my nose wetly into the scratchy paper.
00:06:13If he didn't fall for you, he's an idiot.
00:06:15You're the best person I know, he says quietly.
00:06:18You deserve someone who's going to treat you right.
00:06:21I smile weakly.
00:06:23Why can't everything be so simple?
00:06:25Are you going to keep the job?
00:06:27I can drop out, you know.
00:06:29I'll get a job at the club.
00:06:30I know they're looking for bartenders.
00:06:32Elijah says, no, no way.
00:06:35You're not dropping out of school.
00:06:37I didn't get this job for you to up and quit, I say firmly,
00:06:40and Michael stares at me.
00:06:42Sorry, he says with a laugh.
00:06:44You really sounded like Mom just then.
00:06:47My heart aches.
00:06:49I miss her.
00:06:50I miss her, too, but I'm glad I have you, he says.
00:06:54Every bit the sweet boy he's always been.
00:06:57I couldn't live without him.
00:06:59What are you going to do about...
00:07:01He trails off.
00:07:03Dominic.
00:07:04Ooh, Dom, Michael smirks.
00:07:07Is he...
00:07:08Gross, I say, smacking my brother lightly on the arm,
00:07:12and he giggles like a little kid.
00:07:14I'm probably going to have to talk to him, I say with a frown.
00:07:18I don't want to.
00:07:19I would rather not talk to him ever again.
00:07:22Is that true?
00:07:23But I know I need to set some boundaries between us.
00:07:26I really like this job, and I want to stay there.
00:07:29I've been so lucky.
00:07:31Presley, you and I both know you could get a job anywhere.
00:07:35I think you're staying for other, more dominant reasons, Michael says,
00:07:40dropping his voice low on dominant.
00:07:42I raise my hand to swat him again, and he flinches with a chuckle.
00:07:47I'm trying not to think like that.
00:07:49He can't return my feelings,
00:07:51and with everything that's been going on in the news...
00:07:53Wait, the news?
00:07:55Yeah, there's this scandal that's been circulating.
00:07:58Your boss is the escort guy?
00:08:01I visibly cringe.
00:08:03Yep.
00:08:04One of Allura's escorts who went out with Dominic years ago
00:08:07sold her story to the tabloids.
00:08:09Michael leans back in his chair with a huff,
00:08:12like the air has been knocked out of him.
00:08:14Whoa.
00:08:16I told you it was complicated.
00:08:18Yeah.
00:08:19Sounds like the guy's got some issues to work through.
00:08:22And you love him?
00:08:23My face flushes hot.
00:08:25I... I don't judge you.
00:08:27I mean, Elijah was a little slut before he met me.
00:08:31So, are you dating now?
00:08:33We're not putting a label on it, Michael says, rolling his eyes.
00:08:37But the stroke of pink across each of his cheeks tells me otherwise.
00:08:41For the rest of our cafe date,
00:08:43Michael and I talk about what's next for both of us.
00:08:46He'll be taking some contemporary dance classes next semester,
00:08:49which is Elijah's focus.
00:08:51I'll be traveling abroad again within the next two months,
00:08:54likely to the Netherlands, Dominic has informed me.
00:08:58Michael has assessments coming up, and I have projects to oversee.
00:09:02We've both got our work cut out for us.
00:09:05When we step out of the cafe to say our goodbyes,
00:09:08Michael wraps me in his arms.
00:09:10I love you, you know.
00:09:12And not just for what you've done for me.
00:09:14Tears fill my eyes once again.
00:09:16I love you too, Michael.
00:09:18It starts to sprinkle rain,
00:09:20and although I already know he doesn't,
00:09:22I ask,
00:09:23Do you have an umbrella?
00:09:25I don't mind the rain, Michael says with a cheeky grin.
00:09:28He pecks me on the cheek before saying,
00:09:30It'll pass.
00:09:32He pulls on his beanie,
00:09:34and I watch him run down the street toward the bus stop.
00:09:37My own umbrella hangs limply in my hand.
00:09:40I turn my face up toward the sky as it cracks open,
00:09:43covering me in its gray tears.
00:09:45The anxiety, the pain,
00:09:47the reality of my feelings for Dominic,
00:09:50it all hits me at once.
00:09:52The rain pounds on my cheeks, mixing with my own tears.
00:09:55With every shuddering breath,
00:09:57I let the grief of losing the love I never really had consume me.
00:10:01I'll never hold him in my arms again.
00:10:04I'll never braid his girl's hair again.
00:10:06I'll never feel the excitement of his eyes on me again.
00:10:10Resignation washes over me,
00:10:12followed by a deep sadness settling in my chest.
00:10:15Michael's words ring through my head,
00:10:17and I take a deep breath.
00:10:19It'll pass, won't it?
00:10:28Monday morning at the office, all eyes are on me.
00:10:31But they won't meet mine.
00:10:33Clusters of chattering employees in the hallways and open workspaces
00:10:36abruptly clam up and avert their eyes when I pass by.
00:10:40It's fucking awful.
00:10:42Presley avoids me like I have the plague,
00:10:45hiding away in her office, her face turned toward her computer.
00:10:48Only Beth, a true professional to the end,
00:10:51continues to look me in the eye and handle our business
00:10:54as smoothly as if that damn news story never happened.
00:10:57Thank God for small miracles.
00:10:59And the story, to be honest, is petty and ridiculous.
00:11:03An escort I went out with a handful of times
00:11:05wanted to cash in and sold her story.
00:11:07There was nothing all that salacious about it,
00:11:09but the media latched onto it and it spread like wildfire,
00:11:12destroying everything in its wake, including my reputation.
00:11:17Gia called from the agency first thing that morning
00:11:19and told me she had deleted my file
00:11:22and that we needed to cut all ties.
00:11:24I told her that was fine.
00:11:26I don't plan on using her services again anyhow,
00:11:29but of course the damage was already done.
00:11:33By Wednesday the story still hasn't died down
00:11:36and it's starting to wear on me.
00:11:38I'd like to think I'm resilient, untouchable,
00:11:41but this week has been humbling, to say the least.
00:11:45As I come in, Beth looks up and chirps.
00:11:48Good morning, Mr. Aspen.
00:11:50No matter how early I arrive, she always seems to get here first,
00:11:54already perched efficiently at her desk, hard at work.
00:11:57It's one of the things I admire most about her.
00:12:00I breathe a sigh of relief at the normalcy of it all.
00:12:03With everything that's been going on,
00:12:05I didn't realize how badly I needed things at the office to feel normal.
00:12:10Good morning, Beth, I say,
00:12:12attempting a smile that I'm sure doesn't reach my eyes.
00:12:16What's on the agenda today?
00:12:19She smiles back and hers is sincere, if not a little sad.
00:12:23She gazes at her computer,
00:12:25tapping one long fingernail against the screen as she locates the details.
00:12:30You have a meeting with development at ten,
00:12:32procurement at one-thirty,
00:12:34and the board of directors at three.
00:12:36Oh, and Kelly would like to talk to you ASAP.
00:12:39Of course the head of PR wants yet another piece of me.
00:12:42All I've done this week so far is help her manage this fucking disaster.
00:12:46It's like wading through a pile of shit,
00:12:48the very definition of unpleasant.
00:12:51Tell her I'll call her by lunchtime.
00:12:53There are a few things I want to finish first.
00:12:55Can do, sir.
00:12:58Inhaling deeply, I head into my office and close the door.
00:13:01Then I sit at my desk and stare at my computer like it's the controls to a spaceship.
00:13:06Fuck.
00:13:08Exactly like yesterday.
00:13:10All week I've been so edgy and off my game,
00:13:12it's been a struggle just to concentrate.
00:13:15My brain feels so scattered and I can't seem to clear it no matter what I do.
00:13:19I rub my eyes and force myself to check my email,
00:13:22deciding to deal with the non-scandal related items first.
00:13:26Maybe less excruciating work will help me get a good flow going.
00:13:31I send the financial analysis team a long list of comments and questions on their latest forecast,
00:13:36only to realize a second too late that I hit reply instead of reply all.
00:13:40God damn it.
00:13:42I resubmit my thoughts and move on to the next email.
00:13:45For 20 minutes I attempt to write another few hundred words
00:13:48for the leadership article I've been working on,
00:13:50then change my mind and decide I should talk to our marketing director first.
00:13:55We need to refine our direction for the hotel that's soon to be built in London.
00:13:59I push my intercoms button.
00:14:01Beth, can you call Denise and tell her to stop by when she has a moment?
00:14:05I'm afraid not.
00:14:08She sounds confused.
00:14:10What do you mean?
00:14:12She's not in the office this week.
00:14:14What? Then where the hell is she?
00:14:16I snap.
00:14:18Attending a B2B conference in Denver.
00:14:21You approved her itinerary several weeks ago.
00:14:24I detect a hint of reproach in her tone,
00:14:27and say that's just my embarrassment talking.
00:14:30Oh, right. Sorry, I totally blanked on that.
00:14:34And not only did I forget, I had to make an ass of myself about it too.
00:14:39No problem, sir.
00:14:41Her graciousness just makes my gaffe worse.
00:14:44Would you like me to call her cell instead?
00:14:47No, that's all right. I'll just email her about this.
00:14:50And she'll see it when she gets back.
00:14:53I'm waking up, feeling like I'm losing my goddamn mind.
00:14:57Frustrated, I massage circles into my temples.
00:15:00I absolutely can't let the stress get to me like this.
00:15:03I need about a gallon of coffee.
00:15:05Well, what I really need is for those fucking reporters to have kept their mouths shut.
00:15:09But coffee is better than nothing.
00:15:11I almost ask Beth to bring me some, then decide to head downstairs to the cafeteria instead.
00:15:16Maybe getting away from my desk and stretching my legs will help clear my head.
00:15:20The crowd is at less than half its usual lunchtime peak, and I'm grateful for that,
00:15:24but there are still enough people that the sensation of them staring at me is almost intolerable.
00:15:29I clench my teeth and focus on filling a paper cup with scalding hot black coffee,
00:15:33and then getting the hell out of there.
00:15:36Someone walks over to me.
00:15:38Expecting it to be an employee thirsty for details, I reluctantly look up, only to see Oliver.
00:15:44He gives me a sympathetic smile that I'm really not in the mood for right now.
00:15:48How you holding up, man?
00:15:50I don't need to ask what he's talking about.
00:15:52Everyone who works in this building, maybe everyone in Seattle, has seen that story,
00:15:56and they know it hasn't even come close to dying down.
00:16:00Shitty.
00:16:01I reply sourly.
00:16:03Yeah, I don't blame you.
00:16:05Oliver scratches his head.
00:16:07So, uh, what are you going to do about Presley?
00:16:11I kind of want to smack him, but that's not fair of me.
00:16:13I knew I'd have to deal with this issue eventually.
00:16:16I heave a bleak sigh.
00:16:18I don't see how there's anything I can do other than break up with her.
00:16:22God, I'm the worst kind of idiot.
00:16:25How did I let our relationship get to the point where breaking up applies?
00:16:29I'm the one who told her I wasn't looking for anything serious and I wanted to stay casual,
00:16:33and yet here I am, losing my shit over her, in more ways than one.
00:16:37And now I have to hurt her.
00:16:39I'm sure I've already hurt her.
00:16:42As I peer down into my cup,
00:16:44I can't help but recall a joke Oliver once made about the way I like my coffee.
00:16:48Midnight black.
00:16:49Just like my soul, he joked.
00:16:51Only now I'm not even sure it was a joke.
00:16:53It sure as fuck doesn't feel like one right now.
00:16:56Oliver gives me a wry, sympathetic twist of his mouth.
00:17:00I know it royally sucks,
00:17:02but for what it's worth, I think you're doing the right thing.
00:17:05Recalling his words in Spokane that day when he warned me away from her,
00:17:09warned me that she was a good girl and I was only going to ruin things,
00:17:13I find they now ring truer than ever.
00:17:17He'd have a viable career in fortune-telling if luxury hotels ever start to bore him.
00:17:23I think it's the right thing to.
00:17:26And I really do believe that.
00:17:28So then why does it feel so wrong?
00:17:30Why is my heart jumping up and down, screaming no?
00:17:33Why can't I shake the sense that I'm making the biggest mistake of my life?
00:17:38I didn't feel this awful after I had to stop seeing Sarah.
00:17:41Presley and I haven't even gotten to the actual breakup yet,
00:17:44and my stomach is already in knots.
00:17:46Shit, our relationship turned way too complicated way too fast.
00:17:50I promised myself I wouldn't be like this,
00:17:52wouldn't let things go this far,
00:17:54and yet I didn't have the strength to control the situation.
00:17:57One kiss and I lost all control.
00:17:59One taste and I threw my rules right out the window.
00:18:03Oliver pulls me out of my caustic thoughts by squeezing my shoulder.
00:18:07I'm always here for you, man.
00:18:09Anything you need, just say the word.
00:18:11Thanks, Ollie, I say.
00:18:14Got a time machine lying around?
00:18:16He chuckles.
00:18:18I wish, but I can't offer some company for your misery at least.
00:18:22How about we meet in your office this afternoon and talk about this over whiskey?
00:18:26Maybe we can brainstorm solutions.
00:18:28I snort despite myself.
00:18:31Who's we? You're the one who drinks at work, not me.
00:18:34Come on, he says.
00:18:36I can pour you just one finger if you're scared.
00:18:39You seriously need to take the edge off before you have an aneurysm.
00:18:43I roll my eyes.
00:18:45As long as you stop pestering me about it, you have yourself a deal.
00:18:48I'll have a little and see if it helps.
00:18:51At this point, I'll try anything.
00:18:53Atta boy.
00:18:55He looks almost smug.
00:18:57I'm free after four.
00:18:59Oliver nods.
00:19:00Perfect. I'll swing by then.
00:19:03As we walk back to the office, my phone buzzes.
00:19:06It's a text from Presley.
00:19:08We need to talk.
00:19:10My stomach tightens.
00:19:11This is it.
00:19:12I didn't think the moment of truth would come quite so soon, but I have to face it regardless.
00:19:17I have to stay strong and do what's best for both of us, even if it eats me up inside.
00:19:22Taking a deep breath, I type back.
00:19:25Agreed. You picked the place.
00:19:28She replies with an address I've never been to, along with the time of 9 p.m. tonight.
00:19:33I nod, neutral territory, outside of work hours.
00:19:37Makes sense.
00:19:39Now I just have to figure out what in the hell I'm going to say to her.
00:19:45At Oliver's insistence, my girls and I are having dinner at his and Jess's apartment tonight.
00:19:49He thought I could use a night off from my apparent self-loathing.
00:19:53His words, not mine.
00:19:55Jess greets us at the door with a warm hug for each of my daughters and a bright smile for me.
00:20:00Maybe it's too much to hope for, but I'm not sure she's heard the news yet.
00:20:04I find it doubtful that Oliver didn't tell her.
00:20:07They're as thick as thieves, these two.
00:20:09And have been since college.
00:20:12Sorry about all your troubles, handsome.
00:20:15Jess says, still smiling at me but with a look of sympathy in her eyes.
00:20:20It'll pass, you know.
00:20:22I guess I have my answer.
00:20:24I nod, grumbling.
00:20:26I know.
00:20:28She smiles sadly and pats my hand.
00:20:31With that, we make our way into the kitchen where homemade macaroni and cheese is being prepared,
00:20:36along with a big pot of spicy chili and cornbread.
00:20:40It smells great, Jess. Can I help?
00:20:43I ask, surveying the countertops.
00:20:45There's no sign of Oliver, but he left right after we shared a drink in my office,
00:20:49so I'm assuming he's here somewhere.
00:20:52She gives her head a shake.
00:20:54I've got everything under control.
00:20:56Figured you guys could use some comfort food.
00:20:59Thoughtful of you, thank you.
00:21:01She nods, then gazes down at the girls.
00:21:04Uncle Ollie is in the den, setting up for a tea party I hear never got finished from the last time he was over.
00:21:11Tea party!
00:21:13Lacey and Amelia both squeal at once and scramble from the kitchen toward the adjoining den.
00:21:19I watch them go, their feet clapping across the hardwood floors as quickly as their chubby legs will carry them.
00:21:26When I hear Oliver's voice from the other room, and then laughter,
00:21:30I smile for the first time all day and release a slow exhale.
00:21:34Then Oliver strolls into the kitchen and gives my hand a shake.
00:21:38I'm glad you came.
00:21:40I nod.
00:21:41He knows me well.
00:21:43I almost didn't.
00:21:44Hiding out at home in the dark where I could sulk properly sounded pretty damn appealing,
00:21:49but then I'd just end up watching the news on repeat and feeling even more miserable and helpless than I do already.
00:21:55Everything's just about done. Oliver, pour some drinks, would you, babe?
00:21:59Jess says, giving the chili one final stir.
00:22:03After peeking in the other room to check on the girls,
00:22:06I lean one hip against the counter and watch as the final dinner preparations are made.
00:22:11Seeing Oliver and Jess together, it's, I don't know, nice, domestic, blissful.
00:22:18It surprises me how much I enjoy watching them as they move comfortably together in the kitchen,
00:22:23him helping her reach a high cabinet, her finishing his sentences,
00:22:27the tender looks they give each other.
00:22:29My thoughts flash depressedly and something kicks hard inside my chest.
00:22:34This could be us.
00:22:36A voice whispers inside my head.
00:22:39Yes, but that would mean giving up my entire way of life.
00:22:42But it wouldn't feel like giving up when you'd be gaining so much.
00:22:46Christ.
00:22:48I shake my head.
00:22:49Now I'm answering the voices inside my head.
00:22:52Even I know that's not a good sign.
00:22:55Are you all right, Dom? Oliver asks, giving me a strange look.
00:23:00I swallow.
00:23:01Just hungry, I lie.
00:23:03Everything smells terrific.
00:23:06Jess smiles kindly at me, pausing with oven mitts on both hands to look at me.
00:23:11Maybe you need a good woman in your life, someone who can cook for you and take care of you.
00:23:16You deserve it, you know, and one stupid news story doesn't change that.
00:23:21Oliver chuckles darkly.
00:23:23Oh, no, didn't you know?
00:23:25Dom here is going to die old and lonely.
00:23:27It's his lot in life.
00:23:29Jess scoffs, throwing the appointed look over her shoulder on the way to the oven.
00:23:34I said what I said.
00:23:37As we sit down to dinner, I still haven't been able to quiet the voices inside my head.
00:23:42But two things are certain.
00:23:44There's a strange, pinching feeling inside my chest,
00:23:47and I'm more eager than ever to talk with Presley in a few hours.
00:23:55Chapter 21
00:23:57The sun just set, and with it, all the warmth was sucked from the city, it seems.
00:24:03Today was cooler than usual for July, and the evening air is damp.
00:24:07Tugging my sweater tighter around me,
00:24:10I check the Maps app on my phone to make sure I'm walking in the right direction.
00:24:13If the GPS is accurate, then Moon and Stars Lounge and Bar should be right here.
00:24:19I frown, looking at the barbershop where the tarot card parlor should be.
00:24:23Turning, I finally spot it,
00:24:26an unassuming narrow staircase that leads down a dark wooden door with a silver crescent moon nailed to it.
00:24:32A little chill of excitement runs down my spine.
00:24:35I was surprised when Dominic agreed to meet me here.
00:24:38It was a place neither of us had been, which would ensure it would be neutral ground.
00:24:43He said that I could name the place,
00:24:45so why not pick a spot I've been dreaming of coming to for months?
00:24:49I walk into the dimly lit lounge and wait for my eyes to adjust to the dark.
00:24:53The door swings closed behind me.
00:24:56The lounge is all velvet and low-hanging lights, with a bar at the far back of the room.
00:25:01Art on the walls depicts the goddesses in all their beauty and ferocious glory.
00:25:06It's surprisingly fuller than I thought it would be.
00:25:09When I can make out the shadowy figures, huddled over their tables with glasses of wine,
00:25:14I find the silhouette I'm looking for.
00:25:17As I gaze at the line of his broad shoulders and the curl of hair at the nape of his neck,
00:25:21a little pang of worry shivers through me,
00:25:24and I desperately want to turn and run back to Bianca's apartment
00:25:27and bury myself in her couch cushions.
00:25:30This is going to be impossible.
00:25:32Hey, I say, keeping my composure.
00:25:36Dominic turns, his eyes so dark and empty that I almost take a step back in shock.
00:25:41I take in everything in a matter of seconds.
00:25:44Thick eyelashes, a strong jaw, too pretty of a mouth,
00:25:48the notch of an Adam's apple peeking out above his shirt collar.
00:25:52He's perfection, but he looks more somber than I've ever seen him,
00:25:56even if he's trying hard to hide it.
00:25:59Presley.
00:26:00Dominic stands from the table and pulls out a chair for me.
00:26:04I take a seat, acutely aware of how stiff we're both acting.
00:26:08A glass of water is waiting for me, so I take a greedy gulp.
00:26:12This is quite the little spot, he says, his gaze flitting from table to table.
00:26:17I order a drink, and they ask me what my zodiac sign is.
00:26:21What is your sign, I ask, intrigued.
00:26:24Aquarius, he says, then gives me a curious look.
00:26:28What?
00:26:29No, it's just, of course you're an Aquarius.
00:26:33I should have known from the beginning.
00:26:35The rebellious nature, the desire for innovation, the need for emotional freedom,
00:26:40it all makes sense.
00:26:42I'm not a big water person. I don't love swimming.
00:26:45Aquarius is an air sign, I say with a smirk into my glass of water.
00:26:50Ah, well, you're the smart one. So what are you?
00:26:54Hmm?
00:26:55What's your sign?
00:26:56Scorpio.
00:26:57He shudders dramatically.
00:26:59That sounds intimidating.
00:27:01We're conniving, vindictive, I smile sweetly.
00:27:05But also loyal friends and lovers. Ride or die, as they say.
00:27:09Ride or die, he repeats, as if he's never heard the phrase before.
00:27:14He raises his glass of whiskey to my water, and we clink them together amiably.
00:27:19Sitting here, talking like we're on our first date.
00:27:22It's definitely weird. Better to cut to the chase.
00:27:26Anyway, there's something I want...
00:27:28Do you want a real drink? Let me get you a real drink.
00:27:31Suddenly, he's on his feet and heading toward the bar.
00:27:34Okay.
00:27:36He has to know why I asked him here.
00:27:38He knows we need to talk. Is he avoiding it?
00:27:41When he returns with a tall glass of bubbly, I smile.
00:27:45At least he knows my drink.
00:27:47Thank you, I say.
00:27:49I clear my throat, attempting to summon the courage I need in order to have this conversation.
00:27:54I practiced it in the mirror this morning, ran it by Bianca before I left,
00:27:58and even rehearsed it on the walk here.
00:28:00How hard is it to tell an emotionally unavailable man you're in love with him?
00:28:05A woman wearing a long purple gown makes her way to our table.
00:28:09In her hands is a stack of beautifully illustrated tarot cards.
00:28:14The drawings are intricate. Moons and flowers and hands and hearts.
00:28:18All the makings for a beautiful deck.
00:28:21The gilded edges catch in the candlelight like jewelry.
00:28:24A reading? she asks, presenting the cards before us.
00:28:28No thanks, I say. I need to get these words out before I explode, lady.
00:28:33Can't you see we're in the middle of something?
00:28:36Can she use your cards? Dominic asks suddenly.
00:28:40He turns to me, meeting my surprised gaze.
00:28:43What? You read, don't you?
00:28:46The woman turns to me with an amused tilt of the head.
00:28:49Oh my god, this is so humiliating.
00:28:52I... sometimes.
00:28:54My grandmother taught me, I stammer, feeling my cheeks growing rosier by the second.
00:28:59Tarot cards have been a very private part of my life, and to suddenly be facing a professional...
00:29:05Well, it's humbling. I really don't want some stranger listening in.
00:29:09But without another word, the woman places the stack of cards in the center of our table and gives me a reassuring wink.
00:29:16Then she walks away, her long skirts brushing the floor behind her.
00:29:20They're bigger than I thought they would be, Dominic says, brushing his fingers against the deck.
00:29:26It's so hard to be sitting here with him, with all of his masculine beauty and strength and his quiet confidence,
00:29:33and with the heartbreaking knowledge that he's not mine.
00:29:36Knowing I can't touch him, knowing he left a huge hole in my heart.
00:29:41I release a short sigh. So far this isn't going how I planned.
00:29:46Do you actually want me to read your cards? I ask, a little unsure of his intentions.
00:29:51Do I want to read his cards? I admit I'm fiendishly curious.
00:29:56Sure. His tone is casual, even if he doesn't appear entirely relaxed.
00:30:02I contemplate the decision for a moment. Maybe the cards will help me say what I want to say to him.
00:30:08They've never failed me before. And maybe it's crazy, but using the cards helps me feel closer to my grandma.
00:30:15And my mom, too. I could use a little motherly wisdom right about now.
00:30:19Okay. I shuffle the deck, piece by piece, the way I was taught.
00:30:24The way I do tarot is just for beginners. It is only as accurate as you let it be.
00:30:30I have an open mind, he says.
00:30:33All right. Cut the deck into three stacks, I tell him. And he does.
00:30:37Now, reveal the leftmost card. This card will give us insight into your past.
00:30:43The Emperor, he says, scrutinizing the bearded man in the picture.
00:30:48What does it mean?
00:30:50The Emperor is the father figure, which is very appropriate for you.
00:30:55In your recent past, you became a father to two little girls, and also inherited an enterprise from your own father.
00:31:02You have become a father in both your personal and professional lives, in a sense.
00:31:07But it's not just the Emperor. It's the reversed Emperor.
00:31:11See how it's facing me instead of you?
00:31:13What does that mean?
00:31:15His brows push together.
00:31:17I wonder briefly if showing my new boss slash ex-lover his spiritual flaws is really the best way to ensure a happy working relationship.
00:31:25Fuck it.
00:31:26It means you are, or were, exercising too much control on your own life.
00:31:32Your inflexibility was stifling the natural flow of events.
00:31:37Dominic furrows his brow, making me wonder if I've already lost him.
00:31:41Continue.
00:31:43Turn over the next card.
00:31:45This will give us insight into your present.
00:31:48We both lean in to see what the cards will reveal.
00:31:51The Hangman.
00:31:53Interesting.
00:31:54I rarely get this card.
00:31:56I have to dig into my banks of knowledge for this one.
00:31:59That seems ominous.
00:32:01He mutters into his whiskey before taking a slow drink.
00:32:04Not at all.
00:32:05The Hangman is actually representative of letting go.
00:32:09And since it's upright, it means that you are excelling in it.
00:32:12You're moving in the right direction.
00:32:13That's good.
00:32:15Without thinking, I reach out and grasp Dom's hand in a gesture meant to comfort,
00:32:20but the moment my skin touches his, a shock reverberates through both of us.
00:32:25I can tell by the way his lips part that he feels it too.
00:32:28I pull my hand back, chastising myself for crossing that physical boundary.
00:32:33Dominic clears his throat.
00:32:35Let me guess, he says, pointing at the last unturned card.
00:32:40The future.
00:32:41Yes, I say.
00:32:43My stomach churns.
00:32:45He flips the card just enough for his own eyes to see.
00:32:48Then he lets it slide from his fingers, still face down.
00:32:52What is it, I ask, curious to see what he's hiding.
00:32:56He gazes straight into my eyes.
00:32:59I can't be with you, Presley.
00:33:02This time, his rejection is like getting punched in the throat.
00:33:06I feel the lump form like a bruise and lodge itself in my trachea.
00:33:10I can't speak, can't breathe.
00:33:13I'm sorry, he says, his voice cutting through me like a cold wind.
00:33:18No, I manage to croak.
00:33:20I'm sorry.
00:33:22You have nothing to be sorry for.
00:33:24He shakes his head, roughly rubbing his eyes with thumb and forefinger.
00:33:28I do, though, I say, my voice wobbling.
00:33:32You told me not to fall in love with you.
00:33:35I did it anyway.
00:33:36I guess I'm not very good at following directions.
00:33:39Tears now falling freely from my eyes roll down both cheeks,
00:33:43and I quickly wipe them away.
00:33:45But I'm not ashamed.
00:33:47It feels so good to just say it out loud.
00:33:50I hadn't imagined that I would ever get this far.
00:33:53I thought he would retreat before I got the chance to bare my soul like this.
00:33:57But I'm not hiding my truth any longer.
00:34:00I don't have the capacity for love, he says softly,
00:34:04his eyes downcast at the table in front of us.
00:34:07That's stupid.
00:34:09He looks up at me in shock.
00:34:11I mean, for a CEO, you're really dumb.
00:34:14You are capable of love.
00:34:16I've seen it in the way you take care of your daughters,
00:34:18and in the way that you look to Fran for help and advice when you need it most.
00:34:22I've seen it in the way that you work with Oliver.
00:34:25You trust him more than anyone.
00:34:27I've seen it when you talk about your brother that you lost.
00:34:30I've seen it when you first gave me that promotion.
00:34:33Dominic opens his mouth to object.
00:34:35And don't pretend that was strictly professional.
00:34:38You care about me and my future.
00:34:40I saw it when I was with Amelia and Lacy braiding their hair.
00:34:43I know you felt it, Presley.
00:34:46That is love.
00:34:48Love is messy and imperfect.
00:34:50It isn't that you aren't capable of it.
00:34:52It's that you're overwhelmed by it.
00:34:54Dominic is stunned, silent.
00:34:56I can't quite make out the meaning behind the look in his eyes.
00:35:00I've way overstepped what is appropriate to say to one's boss.
00:35:03But any and all boundaries crumbled into dust the first time he kissed me.
00:35:08I can't keep working for you, I blurt out.
00:35:11If you can't be with me in the way that we both need you to be,
00:35:14then I'm going to walk away.
00:35:16It's the only way.
00:35:18These aren't the words I planned on saying.
00:35:20But as soon as they're out of my mouth,
00:35:22I'm flooded with a sense of relief, knowing they're the right ones.
00:35:26There's no way I can work alongside him now.
00:35:29This man who took my virginity, took my whole heart,
00:35:32and offered me nothing in return.
00:35:34If I'm going to pick up the pieces,
00:35:36I need to do it where I won't be constantly hiding from his shadow.
00:35:40The silence is deafening,
00:35:42and other people in the lounge are shooting curious glances our way.
00:35:46I've made a scene.
00:35:48This isn't how I wanted to say it.
00:35:50I wanted to be strong, aloof even.
00:35:53I pull a tissue from my purse,
00:35:55wipe away the tears,
00:35:56and quietly blow my nose.
00:35:58I won't look at him.
00:36:00I seem like an immature, lovesick idiot to him,
00:36:02and I couldn't bear to see myself through his eyes right now.
00:36:06When I look up,
00:36:07he's placed his final card directly in front of me.
00:36:10I pick it up with shaking fingers.
00:36:13The lovers.
00:36:15His voice is soft as he says,
00:36:17I might be totally awful at this relationship thing.
00:36:21Still unable to meet his eyes,
00:36:23I feel the air shift between us.
00:36:25What's happening?
00:36:27Dominic takes a deep breath.
00:36:29I might be insensitive.
00:36:31I might not know when you're hurting or when you need me.
00:36:34I might need a lot of space.
00:36:36The words fall out of his mouth like salts into a warm bath,
00:36:39easing the knot in my stomach and the lump in my throat.
00:36:43As if he can read my mind,
00:36:45he lifts my chin with his finger.
00:36:47My lower lip quivers,
00:36:49and his gaze falls to my mouth.
00:36:51With one movement,
00:36:52he leans across the table and kisses me tenderly on the lips.
00:36:56My hands find his under the table.
00:36:58When he releases me,
00:37:00he drops his forehead against mine,
00:37:02our hands tangled together,
00:37:04an array of forgotten cards scattered in front of us.
00:37:07I can't lose you, he murmurs.
00:37:10I need you, Presley.
00:37:12What does that mean?
00:37:14I can't keep doing this,
00:37:15this back and forth with you.
00:37:17I know you can't.
00:37:19And the truth is,
00:37:20neither can I.
00:37:21What are you saying?
00:37:23He pauses,
00:37:24his stormy eyes on mine.
00:37:26I've felt for so long that I was unlovable,
00:37:29that I had too much baggage,
00:37:31and that no one would possibly want to take that on,
00:37:34to be with me,
00:37:35to accept me and all my many flaws.
00:37:38I smile at him sadly.
00:37:40That's not even a little bit true, Dom.
00:37:43I can't help but think of his ex that discarded him and their babies
00:37:47like they meant absolutely nothing to her.
00:37:49He takes a deep breath,
00:37:51releasing it slowly.
00:37:53I don't deserve you.
00:37:55I go after what I want.
00:37:57I shrug, trying to lighten the mood.
00:38:00I can see that.
00:38:01He smiles.
00:38:03I want you too, Presley.
00:38:05I shouldn't,
00:38:06but I'm selfish and I do.
00:38:08There's no one else.
00:38:10I feel like I could float away,
00:38:12my eyes flutter closed,
00:38:14the anxiety in my chest unknots,
00:38:16and I let out a breathless laugh.
00:38:18What are you?
00:38:20I start to ask before he cuts me off with a hard kiss.
00:38:24I pull him close to me,
00:38:25leaning far across the table for a better angle.
00:38:28With every push of my lips against his,
00:38:31I want him to feel exactly how much he means to me.
00:38:34And by the way he kisses me back,
00:38:36I really think he does.
00:38:38How are you so confident about all of this relationship shit?
00:38:42He chuckles when we part for a shaky breath.
00:38:45I have no idea what I'm doing.
00:38:47Oh God, neither do I, I admit.
00:38:50Does this make me a stepmom?
00:38:52I'm not sure if I would be a good stepmom,
00:38:54or even a mom for that matter.
00:38:56I want to be, but I...
00:38:58You're just Presley.
00:38:59That's all they want.
00:39:01He uses his thumb to wipe a stray tear from my cheek.
00:39:04That's all I want.
00:39:06I may be bad at it, I whisper.
00:39:09Part of me knows I should be terrified,
00:39:11but the thing is,
00:39:12it's so easy when I'm with them.
00:39:15He leans in to kiss me again.
00:39:17It's slow and sweet and affectionate.
00:39:20Then he whispers against my lips,
00:39:22I find it very hard to believe that there's anything you're not good at.
00:39:35Presley, Francine, and I are in the kitchen,
00:39:37taking turns cooking and diverting the twins away
00:39:40from the myriad hot and pointy objects in play
00:39:43when the doorbell rings.
00:39:45Go ahead, I've got things under control here,
00:39:48Francine says.
00:39:50I glance up from tending my pot full of bubbling potatoes.
00:39:54You sure?
00:39:55Of course, you're the hosts.
00:39:57Now shoo, dearies.
00:39:59She flicks her hand at us with a smile.
00:40:01We answer the door to a young man I recognize from photos as Presley's brother,
00:40:05and an affable-looking guy with brown eyes and a mop of unruly black curls.
00:40:10Thank you for coming. I'm Dominic.
00:40:13Michael shakes my hand, and when he smiles,
00:40:16I can see the resemblance between him and Presley right away.
00:40:19They share the same curious blue eyes and high cheekbones.
00:40:23Thanks for the invite. This is Elijah.
00:40:26Make yourselves at home, I say,
00:40:29stepping aside to let them in.
00:40:31Presley hugs Michael and pecks him on the cheek.
00:40:34I'm so glad you could make it.
00:40:36I wouldn't miss Thanksgiving with my big sister.
00:40:39He replies with a grin.
00:40:41And Elijah, she says, smiling.
00:40:44It's so nice to meet you. I've heard good things.
00:40:47Then they're all true, Elijah says.
00:40:51Michael shoots a grin at the other boy that's so adoring
00:40:54I almost expect cartoon hearts to float up around their heads.
00:40:57Ah, young love.
00:41:00Wait, did I really just think that?
00:41:02Dammit, being a dad has made me prematurely old.
00:41:06Her eyes sparkling, Presley leans toward Michael.
00:41:09Are you two exclusive yet?
00:41:11Sis, Michael groans like the teenager he so recently was.
00:41:17We're glad you're here, I say.
00:41:20Everyone smiles and the awkwardness dissolves,
00:41:22which is what I was hoping for.
00:41:24I shake Elijah's hand, too.
00:41:26Thanks for coming.
00:41:28Thank you for having me, Mr. Aspen, he replies.
00:41:32Points for politeness.
00:41:34Please call me Dominic.
00:41:36Dinner should be ready in twenty minutes.
00:41:38Half an hour!
00:41:40Francine yells from the kitchen.
00:41:42It's a big old bird, what she said.
00:41:45But you can have some appetizers while you wait.
00:41:48Francine makes a noise of surprise
00:41:50and I'm hoping she didn't just chop off her finger or something.
00:41:54Presley, can you show them to the dining room while I go get that?
00:41:57You have a whole dining room in your apartment?
00:42:00She asks, wide-eyed.
00:42:02I know, right? This place is huge.
00:42:05Presley says as she leads them off.
00:42:07After checking on Francine,
00:42:09it was merely an excited squeal because her gravy is perfect,
00:42:12I bring in a plate of appetizers to set on the table.
00:42:16Lacy and Amelia follow me,
00:42:18but at the sight of strangers they hide behind my legs,
00:42:21too shy to come forward, yet too curious to scurry back to Francine.
00:42:26Meet my daughters, Amelia and Lacy.
00:42:29I point to each twin as I say her name.
00:42:31Michael and Elijah squat down to greet the girls with friendly smiles.
00:42:35Hi guys, Michael says.
00:42:38Nice to meet you, I'm Presley's brother Michael
00:42:40and this is my boyfriend Elijah.
00:42:42You're a boy, Lacy says, poking her head out.
00:42:47Grinning, Elijah nods.
00:42:49I sure am.
00:42:50Why? Amelia asks.
00:42:53That's a fantastically complicated question.
00:42:56Elijah chuckles.
00:42:58Guess I should have brought my gender studies textbook.
00:43:01Michael explains.
00:43:03Sometimes love just works like that.
00:43:05Anybody can love anybody.
00:43:08The girls think about that for a moment,
00:43:10then nod, apparently satisfied.
00:43:13If only it were that easy with dad,
00:43:15Presley jokes.
00:43:17Michael rolls his eyes with a derisive laugh.
00:43:20No kidding.
00:43:22I hum noncommittally.
00:43:24Let's go take over for Francine.
00:43:26She'll insist she doesn't need any help,
00:43:28but she deserves a break.
00:43:30Presley and I head back into the kitchen
00:43:32to resume mashing potatoes,
00:43:34simmering cranberry relish,
00:43:35and prepping the pumpkin pie for baking.
00:43:38Through the doorway leading into the dining room
00:43:40we can catch glimpses of my girls
00:43:42entertaining our guests
00:43:43and hear snippets of conversation and laughter.
00:43:46This is nice, Presley murmurs.
00:43:49Having the apartment full and busy, I mean.
00:43:52I wouldn't want to do it every day,
00:43:53but it's so cozy.
00:43:57I drop a kiss on her forehead.
00:43:59Yeah, it really feels like a home.
00:44:02When there's another knock on the door,
00:44:03I scramble to wash my hands.
00:44:06I'll get it, I say,
00:44:08my heart beating a little faster.
00:44:10I'm pretty confident I've planned this well,
00:44:12but now that the moment is actually here,
00:44:13it's nerve-wracking,
00:44:14mostly because I have no idea
00:44:15if I'm doing the right thing.
00:44:18I open the door.
00:44:20George?
00:44:22I've never seen him in person before.
00:44:24I can tell where Presley gets her nose from.
00:44:27The thin, gray-haired man on my threshold nods.
00:44:30And you must be Dominic.
00:44:32Very nice place you got here.
00:44:35When I lead him into the dining room,
00:44:37Presley stops in mid-sentence
00:44:38and goes as rigid as a statue.
00:44:41Michael takes a step back
00:44:42and Elijah grabs his hand.
00:44:44At everyone else's reactions,
00:44:45Francine stands up protectively,
00:44:48and the girls zip to her side, weary.
00:44:51How did you know where we were?
00:44:53Presley says in the coldest tone
00:44:55I've ever heard from her.
00:44:58George offers an uncertain,
00:44:59placating half-smile.
00:45:02Dominic invited me.
00:45:05She whips around to stare at me.
00:45:07Wait, you did what?
00:45:09Shit.
00:45:10She can be intimidating when she wants to be.
00:45:12It's almost enough to make me flinch
00:45:14and also a tiny bit hot,
00:45:15but let's not go there right now.
00:45:18He has an apology for you, I say.
00:45:22Her shock and anger rapidly drain away to bewilderment.
00:45:26She looks back at her father.
00:45:28You... do?
00:45:31Solemn, he nods, sucking his teeth.
00:45:35Dominic called me a week or two ago.
00:45:38He helped me see that I have two kids
00:45:40I'm immensely proud of.
00:45:42I'm sorry I lost sight of that with your mom gone.
00:45:45I lost my way and I fu...
00:45:48He glances down at the girls,
00:45:49clinging to Francine's legs.
00:45:52I did nothing but let my children down.
00:45:55I promise I'll try harder and do better from now on.
00:45:59Presley's expression softens a little.
00:46:02Mom's death was hard on all of us.
00:46:06And while you did hurt us both,
00:46:08we still love you.
00:46:10She chews her lip.
00:46:12But if you can't accept Michael for who he is,
00:46:14then this isn't going to work.
00:46:16That's a deal-breaker for us both.
00:46:19Hesitant, George looks over at Michael and Elijah,
00:46:22who are keeping their faces neutral
00:46:24but are gripping each other's hands so tightly
00:46:26their knuckles are white.
00:46:28Presley watches the three of them with weary eyes,
00:46:30like she's ready to throw herself in front of a bullet if need be.
00:46:35Finally, George extends his hand to Elijah.
00:46:39As long as you treat my son well, we're good.
00:46:43Everyone smiles in relief,
00:46:45and Michael releases a huge breath,
00:46:47tears threatening to fall.
00:46:49Elijah shakes George's offered hand
00:46:51with the one that's not still clutching Michael's.
00:46:55The girls creep forward shyly,
00:46:57and Lacy tugs on George's pant leg.
00:47:00You're Grandpa?
00:47:03Presley and I gawk at Lacy, then each other,
00:47:05then George, who's equally confused.
00:47:07The other three adults stifle a laugh.
00:47:10Her lips twitching, Francine says,
00:47:13Now, sweetheart, I can sure try.
00:47:17George looks back at us.
00:47:19Only if you two are okay with that, of course.
00:47:21Uh, we both say,
00:47:24They're your kids, so it's your call,
00:47:27Presley tells me.
00:47:29Drop the whole decision on me, why don't you?
00:47:31She's practically their stepmom already,
00:47:33but I don't want to get into that discussion in front of everyone.
00:47:36I rub my chin, musing,
00:47:39I guess we can do a trial run.
00:47:43George turns back to the girls with a smile.
00:47:46Looks like the answer is yes.
00:47:48I'm hungry, Amelia reminds us.
00:47:52I scoop her up onto my hip.
00:47:54An excellent point, darling. Let's eat.
00:47:58Late into the night, my home remained so full of joy, light, and warmth,
00:48:02eating and drinking and laughter.
00:48:04Now the guests have gone, the halls are dark,
00:48:06my girls sleeping peacefully down the hall.
00:48:08Presley and I are curled up together in my bed.
00:48:11And this feels like family, too.
00:48:14Are we going to talk about your surprise today?
00:48:17What made you think of it?
00:48:18Presley asks, her head pillowed on my chest.
00:48:23I run my fingers through her elegant spill of dark hair.
00:48:26Her relationship with her father is something that has been on my mind
00:48:29for a long time, actually.
00:48:31Maybe it's because I'm a dad now as well,
00:48:33and could never imagine not having a relationship with my daughters.
00:48:36But it was more than that, too.
00:48:39Well, I never got a chance to reconcile with my father, or protect my brother.
00:48:44But I figured I could still help you with yours.
00:48:48She props herself on her elbow to stroke my stubbled cheek,
00:48:51sympathy in her eyes.
00:48:53I'm sorry, Dominic.
00:48:56I still don't know how to handle it when she looks at me like that,
00:49:00when I can see the full, overwhelming depth of what she feels for me.
00:49:04You don't have to be sorry.
00:49:06It's in the past.
00:49:08The past can still hurt, she says softly.
00:49:11It can.
00:49:13But I have a present to take care of,
00:49:16and a future to look forward to.
00:49:19We lie together for a while, just enjoying each other's warm solidarity.
00:49:23Then, in a much lighter tone, she asks,
00:49:27So what on earth did you say to convince my dad?
00:49:31A magician never reveals his secrets, I say.
00:49:34Not because I actually don't want to tell her,
00:49:37but because I want to make her laugh.
00:49:39She does, and nudges me in the ribs playfully.
00:49:42Oh, come on, I'm dying to know.
00:49:45Dad almost never apologizes.
00:49:47Well, I said a lot of things,
00:49:49some of which I can't repeat in front of the girls, but
00:49:52I think what did the trick was finding some common ground.
00:49:56I told him I'm a single father, too,
00:49:58and I understand how hard it can be when your children's mother isn't there,
00:50:01and how easy it is for your life to get out of hand.
00:50:04But if he lets these family relationships go,
00:50:06he'll regret it until the day he dies.
00:50:09Blinking fast, she sniffles wetly.
00:50:12Are you okay?
00:50:15Her fervent kiss cuts me off.
00:50:17I love you so much, she says hoarsely, squeezing me tight.
00:50:24My heart soars to the heavens,
00:50:26as it always does every time I hear those words.
00:50:29I love you, too, I murmur against her lips.
00:50:33To think, barely any time ago, I never would have let myself think that,
00:50:37let alone say it out loud.
00:50:39But now I can, every hour of every day until forever ends.
00:50:45She kisses me again, hungry and joyful,
00:50:48and I answer with everything I have.
00:50:50Our touches quickly turn from sweet to hot,
00:50:52and soon I'm helping Presley push her pajama bottoms off.
00:50:56Can't wake the kids, she says, already breathless under me.
00:51:01I can keep quiet if you can.
00:51:03I nip at her neck.
00:51:05She makes a torn, needy noise.
00:51:08I'll try.
00:51:10Sliding into her is yet another kind of coming home.
00:51:13We rock together, slow and sensual,
00:51:16as if we have all the time in the world, because now we do.
00:51:20I marvel at that knowledge, luxuriate in it,
00:51:23in her body and her moans and the love shining from her eyes.
00:51:27You're not making this easy, she pants.
00:51:31Sorry, I just can't help myself when it comes to you.
00:51:34I kiss her, sealing in our sounds of pleasure,
00:51:37and repeat the move until she's clutching at my back
00:51:40and whimpering into my mouth.
00:51:42I thrust faster, harder, and she bucks up to meet me.
00:51:46My hands run over her hungrily, caressing every inch of skin I can reach.
00:51:51My whole body is tensing, nerves sparking, so intense,
00:51:55and it's clear she's quickly getting closer, too.
00:51:58Her muffled moans come louder and more urgent, washing heat over me.
00:52:02With every second I fall deeper into Presley until nothing else exists.
00:52:07Suddenly her trembling turns into full-body quakes.
00:52:10At the sensation of her arching and writhing beneath me,
00:52:13clenching in waves around my cock, I can't hold out any longer.
00:52:17Pleasure sweeps over me like a tsunami.
00:52:20With a long, rough-edged groan, I follow her over the edge.
00:52:24When our bliss ebbs away, I wrap her in my arms.
00:52:28As we lay entwined, sated and tired and content, our eyes meet,
00:52:33and I can see the promise of a vast new future spread out before us.
00:52:37Whatever comes next, I will never be the same again.
00:52:41And I'm so ready.
00:52:43I nuzzle into her neck.
00:52:46Hey, can I ask you something?
00:52:49Yeah?
00:52:50She mumbles sleepily.
00:52:52Do you want to, um, move in with me?
00:52:57She sits up and stares at me, blinking.
00:53:00Then a smile spreads across her face that's so beautiful it almost stops my heart.
00:53:05Are you serious?
00:53:07Completely.
00:53:09I say, returning her smile.
00:53:12I want you here with me, with the girls.
00:53:15She chews on her lip, considering this.
00:53:18But do you think it will be okay? I mean...
00:53:22I quiet her by taking her hand and guiding her lips to mine.
00:53:26They love you, Presley, almost as much as I do.
00:53:29It's going to be perfect.
00:53:32Her eyes find mine, and she looks so happy that it makes my heart clench.
00:53:36Then I'd love to...
00:53:42Epilogue. Three years later.
00:53:46The girls said we could drop them off at the school's curb, and Presley thirted the motion,
00:53:51saying the building wasn't that big.
00:53:53But I vetoed that idea.
00:53:55No way am I going to abandon them to fumble their own way to their classroom.
00:54:00Maybe in a few weeks, or years, but definitely not today.
00:54:04It's their very first day of kindergarten, after all.
00:54:07The first time they've been away from home all day long without me, Presley, or Francine.
00:54:12As we escort them through the halls, I'm fidgeting like crazy,
00:54:16twisting my wedding ring around and around my finger.
00:54:19You sure you've got your lunches in your backpacks?
00:54:21You know what to do if you need to come home?
00:54:23Call Fanny.
00:54:25Amelia answers dutifully.
00:54:27Lacey is already distracted,
00:54:29ticking in the colorful posters and noisy crowd all around us with a wide-eyed grin.
00:54:34And do you remember her number?
00:54:36Um...
00:54:38Tom, Presley says.
00:54:40Relax, the teacher has Francine's number.
00:54:43And our numbers, and their pediatricians, and the National Guards...
00:54:47I frown.
00:54:48I know that. It's just an extra precaution.
00:54:52And this is just a school. A private school, even, she says.
00:54:56It's only until three.
00:54:57Francine will pick them up and take them home, and we'll see them again tonight.
00:55:00You say only three, but that's six hours away.
00:55:03What if they miss us during the day?
00:55:05What if they need help using the potty?
00:55:06What if the other kids are mean?
00:55:07What if they don't eat their lunch?
00:55:09You know they've been so picky lately.
00:55:10What if...
00:55:11Presley squeezes my shoulder, loving but firm.
00:55:14Honey, chill out. Stop acting like we're throwing them to the wolves.
00:55:18Wolves? Can I see?
00:55:20Amelia asks.
00:55:22It's only a figure of speech, honey.
00:55:24The only wolves around here are at the zoo.
00:55:26I'm perfectly chill.
00:55:28I say, frowning.
00:55:30But we have to be sure they're ready.
00:55:32Somehow I don't think they're the ones who aren't ready.
00:55:35Presley teases.
00:55:36Seriously, they can handle it.
00:55:38They're more than old enough, and they did great in preschool.
00:55:42But preschool was only a half day. This might...
00:55:44I'm a big girl!
00:55:46Lacey says.
00:55:47Yes, you are, sweet pea.
00:55:49I quite agree.
00:55:51Presley squats down.
00:55:54Show me on your hands.
00:55:56After thinking for a few moments, Lacey holds up five fingers.
00:56:00And how many is that?
00:56:02Lacey says.
00:56:04Five.
00:56:05At the same instant, Amelia answers for her.
00:56:08Five.
00:56:10Presley shoots a smile back over her shoulder at me before asking them.
00:56:14And how much do Mommy and Daddy and Franny love you?
00:56:18Infinity!
00:56:20They both shout, flinging their arms open wide.
00:56:24Absolutely right.
00:56:26She hugs them, then stands up again.
00:56:29See? They're rocket scientists.
00:56:31She lays her hand gently on my arm.
00:56:34We always knew we'd have to let go sometime.
00:56:38Throwing her arms around my hips, Amelia says.
00:56:41Don't cry, Daddy.
00:56:43Yeah, we're gonna be okay.
00:56:45Lacey says, trying to reassure me.
00:56:48I begin to laugh at how thoroughly we've switched roles here.
00:56:51Thanks, you two.
00:56:53But for your information, I'm not crying.
00:56:55A bug just flew into my eye.
00:56:58I wipe my sleeve across my face.
00:57:01Shit, I am totally about to cry.
00:57:03What's happening to me?
00:57:05Are you ready, girls?
00:57:07Their teacher calls.
00:57:09After one last round of kisses, they run inside and the door shuts behind them.
00:57:12If I squint through the frosted glass, I can just barely see the blobs of color that belong to our precious daughters.
00:57:17Then they move farther into the classroom and are lost.
00:57:21Presley pats my lower back.
00:57:23Poor thing. You're going to be useless at the office today, aren't you?
00:57:27Oh, hush. I grunt.
00:57:30But seriously, I love this side to you.
00:57:33It's adorable.
00:57:35Taking my hand, she kisses me warmly.
00:57:38I level her with a heated look.
00:57:40Did you just call me adorable?
00:57:43She chuckles, lacing her fingers through mine.
00:57:46But don't worry. I'll cheer you up later.
00:57:49Smirking, I raise her hand to my lips to kiss the back of it, right over her exquisite diamond ring.
00:57:56It feels like I gave it to her a whole lifetime ago, and it feels like no time at all.
00:58:02Promise?
00:58:04She beams at me.
00:58:06Always and forever.
00:58:09My wife was right about one thing.
00:58:11I am completely useless at the office.
00:58:14Thankfully, my calendar is mostly clear.
00:58:17I suspect that she and Beth had something to do with that fact, like they knew kindergarten drop-off would hit me hard.
00:58:23Hell, I didn't even know it would.
00:58:25But I'm thankful there are more than a few smart women in my life.
00:58:29Presley has a busy day today, and so I barely see her after we arrive.
00:58:34She's no longer the director of operations.
00:58:37She now runs the entire international operation, and she has, flawlessly, for two years now.
00:58:44From my desk, I check her calendar and see that she has a lunch with her friend Bianca in a little while.
00:58:49Bianca got married last spring and is pregnant with her first baby, a little girl.
00:58:54Presley has been saving our girls' hand-me-down clothes ever since the gender-reveal party.
00:59:00My gaze slips past the meetings until I find what I'm looking for.
00:59:04It's a six o'clock dinner with Presley's dad, Grandpa George, along with her brother Michael and his fiancee Elijah.
00:59:10My days before Presley came crashing into it were filled with work and parental obligations.
00:59:16But since I finally got my head out of my ass and accepted that she was part of my future, and that I did deserve to be loved,
00:59:23now my days are filled with family and laughter and so much love I hardly recognize it.
00:59:28Knock, knock.
00:59:30A familiar voice calls from the door.
00:59:33Hey, come on in, I say, glancing up to spot Oliver lingering at the threshold.
00:59:39He's a little more gun-shy about barging straight into my office without knocking,
00:59:43ever since that time last year he caught me bending Presley over my desk.
00:59:47In our defense, it was after hours and we assumed everyone was gone for the day.
00:59:51Thankfully, he didn't catch a glimpse of anything more than my bare ass, though I guess that was enough to traumatize him.
00:59:57Is it safe? He jokes.
01:00:00I roll my eyes.
01:00:02Course it is, what's up?
01:00:04Oliver drops into the chair in front of my desk and shrugs.
01:00:08Presley set up an eleven o'clock meeting on my calendar saying that I was supposed to come check on you,
01:00:13because today was the first day of school drop-off or something?
01:00:17I stifle a sigh.
01:00:19She has my entire staff in on this?
01:00:21I would complain, but sadly they like her more than they like me, and Oliver's totally a lost cause.
01:00:27He's wrapped around her finger. Both he and Jess adore her.
01:00:31I'm fine, now go get back to work.
01:00:33Oliver stands to his feet, shaking his head.
01:00:36Jeez, touchy today.
01:00:39I grant at his retreating frame.
01:00:42Thanks, Ollie.
01:00:44I've barely gotten through my next email when there's someone else at my door.
01:00:48I hear the click of heels and look up. It's my lovely wife.
01:00:53A smile lifts my lips as I watch her walk toward me.
01:00:56Bypassing the desk, she comes around behind it and slips into my lap.
01:01:00I grin in surprise when she seats herself on top of me.
01:01:04Hi there.
01:01:06Hi.
01:01:08She presses a quick kiss to my lips.
01:01:11She's not normally so touchy-feely at the office, and I can't help but wonder if she's checking on me too.
01:01:17I'll be honest, I don't hate it.
01:01:20I'm okay, you know.
01:01:22I raise one eyebrow at her.
01:01:24She laughs.
01:01:25I know you are. I just wanted to see if you needed anything before I head out to meet Bianca.
01:01:31Tightening my arms around her, I hold her close and Presley sighs.
01:01:35Just you?
01:01:37She smiles, bringing her lips to mine again.
01:01:41You have me.
01:01:43Go have fun at lunch. I'll just be here sulking, watching the clock.
01:01:47I sigh for dramatic effect and she swats my chest.
01:01:50You're a big baby. I told you I'll make it up to you later.
01:01:54She stands and adjusts my tie before she starts toward the door.
01:01:58Best intern I ever hired.
01:02:01I call to her retreating backside and I hear Presley chuckle.
01:02:05It's the absolute truth.
01:02:07Although to be fair, Presley was never just an intern.
01:02:11She was the woman who rocked my entire world from the first time I laid eyes on her.
01:02:16And now she's mine.
01:02:18Forever and always.