Saleem Albela, Goga, Marhoom Nay Lut Liya Qeemti Anda - Hansi Say Bhari Video
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00:00 Friends, the identity of a good teacher and a good human being is that
00:04 when his words are proven wrong, he is very happy.
00:08 He is not overjoyed because he knows that he has reached the right path.
00:14 And if he gets angry and gets upset that how could you prove me wrong?
00:19 Then you should know that he is not a good teacher or a good human being.
00:23 If your teacher has always given you the answer to everything
00:26 and has never told you that he doesn't know anything,
00:30 then you should know that he doesn't know anything.
00:32 The sign of a great human being is that when he knows that he doesn't know anything,
00:40 he tells it to people.
00:42 He is not ashamed. He is not scared.
00:45 He is always doubtful about his facts.
00:48 This is the sign of a great human being.
00:50 Let's start today's show with this message.
00:54 Today we will take you to the mobsters' den and see what they are planning.
00:59 Leave it, sir.
01:08 It's your turn now.
01:09 What are you doing?
01:12 This is not a drummer's show.
01:18 Yes, sir.
01:19 This is our show.
01:20 You stop or I will stop.
01:21 What are you doing these days?
01:23 Today we are planning something big, Turpo.
01:26 I am always after you, sir.
01:29 Today we are going on a big mission.
01:31 What are you planning?
01:33 Russian egg is lying in the museum.
01:36 The price of that egg is 20 crores.
01:40 Yes, Russian egg can be of this price.
01:42 Russian egg is expensive.
01:43 Imperial eggs are expensive.
01:46 So this guy is going to buy an egg worth 20 crores.
01:48 You are a fool.
01:51 If you are going to steal a Russian egg,
01:53 they must have kept it there.
01:54 There must be no security.
01:56 We have all the plans.
01:57 Do you know that we are using artificial intelligence?
02:00 Why?
02:01 Because we don't have actual intelligence.
02:02 You won't be able to sell that egg in the open market.
02:06 We will sell it in a closed market.
02:08 It can be sold on the dark web.
02:10 Where will you go on the dark web?
02:12 We will do zone VPN, download Onion browser
02:15 and sell it on sstore.com.
02:20 Do one thing.
02:21 Find a friend of yours
02:24 who will give you 8-10 lakhs and sell him.
02:26 You tell me.
02:28 Sir, you tell me how much will you give?
02:30 First bring it.
02:31 You can buy it.
02:33 You can buy it.
02:34 You can see it.
02:35 We have a very good plan.
02:38 What plan?
02:39 Plan A.
02:39 Before planning plan A, tell me
02:42 which museum is it in?
02:43 It is in Lahore museum.
02:45 It is in Lahore museum.
02:46 Yes, it is in Chaburji.
02:47 Lahore museum, Chaburji.
02:49 Russia has made a separate display here.
02:52 They have kept an egg inside that display.
02:55 Yes, now I understand.
02:57 A special guard from Russia has come.
02:59 Mikhail Sholokhov.
03:00 Sholokhov.
03:01 But his name is Khauf.
03:03 Okay.
03:04 Sir, I have done his entire monthly recipe.
03:06 Okay.
03:06 He doesn't leave anyone.
03:07 Okay.
03:08 Even he searches for himself after every hour.
03:10 But we have a very good plan.
03:12 What plan?
03:13 We will all go on a helicopter.
03:14 Okay.
03:15 We will get down.
03:16 Okay.
03:16 And we will pick up the egg.
03:18 We will sit in the helicopter.
03:19 Tick-tock.
03:19 Do you have a helicopter?
03:22 We will arrange it.
03:23 Mr. Arun.
03:23 Yes.
03:24 How much does it cost to fly a helicopter?
03:25 It is around 25 lakhs to 50 lakhs.
03:29 Sir, we will leave the egg and loot the helicopter.
03:31 But sir, when the helicopter will land,
03:34 it will make a sound.
03:35 Tick-tock.
03:36 Will the fan work?
03:37 It will make a sound.
03:38 I have so many eggs inside.
03:40 Then do one thing.
03:41 Without making a sound.
03:41 And then the same thing.
03:42 When you have to go.
03:43 Yes.
03:44 You will quietly loot the egg.
03:45 Yes.
03:45 We will shut down the fan.
03:46 Shut down the fan.
03:48 You want to go without making a sound.
03:54 Yes.
03:55 And sit on the owl.
03:56 What?
03:57 There is no sound of an owl.
03:58 I will tell you one thing.
03:59 Yes.
04:00 The person who made us talk.
04:01 He is a gay.
04:02 He will loot the egg.
04:03 No, it is nothing like that.
04:05 Plan A, cancel.
04:07 Plan B, start.
04:08 Boss.
04:09 Order me.
04:10 12.5 police are searching for me.
04:13 12.5?
04:14 Yes.
04:14 What do you mean?
04:15 There is a small kid in Thailand.
04:17 What is his punishment?
04:19 5 years, 10 years.
04:19 No, no, no.
04:20 This is not the punishment.
04:21 They will arrest us and make us tensed.
04:22 Plan B.
04:25 You also think.
04:27 You are not the first one.
04:28 You think a little.
04:29 Boss.
04:31 I have thought.
04:32 What?
04:33 You think.
04:34 We will think together.
04:39 Okay.
04:39 Tell me what is the plan now?
04:42 What else?
04:42 Now we will hang him.
04:43 And then we will go there.
04:45 You decide everything.
04:47 Plan B is this.
04:49 What?
04:50 Pick up this blackboard.
04:51 And straighten it.
04:53 Straighten it.
04:54 This.
04:55 I will make a map and show you.
05:01 Assume that
05:02 this is a museum.
05:05 And this is a guard.
05:07 Our boss is very sensible.
05:09 He is not writing Ramna.
05:11 He is writing Tang.
05:13 What is this? Is this an egg?
05:14 This is an egg.
05:15 Sir, it is difficult to steal.
05:17 Why?
05:18 That guard is very close to the egg.
05:19 And this is its main gate.
05:23 Yes.
05:23 What?
05:24 This is the main gate.
05:25 Main gate.
05:26 Oh.
05:27 Come a little here.
05:30 Okay.
05:31 They made the main gate like this.
05:32 I lost the museum.
05:33 Here is a house.
05:37 Corner plot.
05:38 We will rent this house.
05:40 Okay.
05:40 And from here
05:42 straight
05:43 to the corner.
05:44 Here.
05:45 Egg.
05:45 Wow.
05:46 Is this straight?
05:47 A little bit.
05:48 But not much.
05:49 How will you make the corner?
05:50 I have an idea for the corner.
05:52 Okay.
05:52 Nearby.
05:53 Hmm.
05:54 A plaza is being built.
05:55 We will bring the contractor here.
05:57 Good.
05:58 Good.
05:58 We will talk to him.
05:59 He will make the corner.
06:02 You both go.
06:03 Okay.
06:03 Call the contractor.
06:04 Do you know that
06:05 he is coming here to cook two rotis?
06:07 Yes.
06:08 He will come.
06:09 He will cook two rotis.
06:10 Some fritters.
06:11 Some chutney.
06:12 Okay.
06:13 Don't walk.
06:14 You will get beaten up.
06:15 Don't sit on the road.
06:16 Fritters.
06:16 He has been here for 20 years.
06:18 I have never given him rotis.
06:19 You will change my life.
06:22 If you touch me.
06:24 What will you do?
06:24 I will buy new jeans.
06:25 New shoes.
06:26 New shirt.
06:27 Sir, you already have something.
06:30 What is the problem if I have something else?
06:32 Sir, you will get money.
06:34 Wear it.
06:34 It is a power point.
06:35 Are you mad?
06:37 We will buy a new fan.
06:39 Yes.
06:40 We will put it near the power point.
06:42 What is the problem?
06:46 Why are you making so many tunnels?
06:48 Sir, there was a contractor.
06:51 But I brought this one.
06:52 Why?
06:53 Sir, I want to make a tunnel like this.
06:54 Why?
06:55 You said that you will get construction work done.
06:58 Why are you doing this?
07:00 We are dacoits.
07:04 Brother.
07:06 I am scared of dacoits.
07:07 All my five sons are dacoits.
07:11 They have killed five people.
07:14 We are just sitting here.
07:17 We are not dacoits.
07:20 We are not dacoits.
07:21 That is fine.
07:22 But why did you call me?
07:24 I think you have a burden of three sons.
07:26 My sons are with me.
07:30 And my eldest son will never be a part of this.
07:32 Really?
07:33 He is not even 24 years old.
07:35 Listen to me.
07:36 You will do what we tell you to do.
07:39 We are one now.
07:41 Do you know what is happening?
07:46 He is my brother.
07:48 We are dacoits.
07:50 You are contractors.
07:52 Get us work.
07:53 Get us money.
07:54 Do one thing.
07:55 What?
07:56 We have to make a tunnel.
07:57 Where?
07:58 This is our house.
07:59 We have to make a tunnel from here to the museum.
08:01 Okay.
08:03 This is a gate tunnel.
08:05 And this is a tunnel.
08:06 How many contractors have you made in this map?
08:09 You mean to say that you will make a map of a canal
08:13 in two days?
08:15 Sir, it is 150 kilometers from here.
08:20 You can't even take Farhad with you.
08:23 Sir, you have a big machinery.
08:27 Yes, a big machinery.
08:28 You can take it and spend your money on it.
08:30 I didn't say 150.
08:31 I said 150 kilometers.
08:33 It will be cheap.
08:35 How?
08:36 My son has been released.
08:38 He will be released from one side.
08:40 I will be released from the other side.
08:41 We will meet on the road.
08:43 Then your tunnel will be ready.
08:44 We will have to keep our phones on the road.
08:47 What if we don't meet?
08:49 Then I will spend the money on the tunnel.
08:51 You have to make so much money.
08:53 You can't sell it.
08:54 No, contractor.
08:56 We need this work very soon.
08:59 Is it okay soon?
09:00 It will be ready in two hours.
09:04 In two hours?
09:05 How will it be ready in two hours?
09:07 We will also have to travel a lot.
09:09 I also need this work.
09:10 It can be done in two hours.
09:13 We have been sitting here for 20 years.
09:16 How long will it take?
09:18 150 kilometers.
09:19 How long will it take to get ready?
09:21 It will take at least 8 years.
09:23 I think you have a lot of money.
09:26 Yes.
09:27 You can go.
09:28 We will manage.
09:29 Go.
09:30 Go.
09:31 Pushpa, we don't have so much time.
09:34 Let's go.
09:36 We can't kill him in the tunnel.
09:37 Why?
09:38 We have to go to his house.
09:39 What will you do now?
09:41 All your plans have failed.
09:43 Listen to me.
09:44 Take the ticket.
09:46 Yes.
09:47 And quietly go inside the museum.
09:48 Good.
09:50 Good idea.
09:51 We don't need to think about this.
09:54 Good idea.
09:57 As soon as we enter the museum,
09:59 time will be over.
10:01 A guard will come.
10:02 He will press a button.
10:03 An alarm will go off.
10:05 I think we are stuck in New Khan.
10:11 And the laser will be made like this.
10:15 Laser lights are also installed there.
10:17 Laser lights.
10:18 Okay.
10:19 We have to be careful.
10:20 Come here.
10:21 Yes.
10:22 Bring that.
10:23 We will train.
10:24 Oh, good.
10:25 What have you made?
10:26 This is a laser.
10:27 For the laser.
10:28 We have to be careful.
10:29 You will train on how to be careful with the laser.
10:31 Yes.
10:32 Wait a minute.
10:34 Wait.
10:35 Wait.
10:36 Look.
10:37 I can understand the thin one.
10:39 But how will the big ones go through?
10:43 It's very easy.
10:44 Very good.
10:45 How with so many people?
10:46 It will go through.
10:48 Very good.
10:51 Very good.
10:52 Good.
10:54 Why?
10:55 Why?
10:57 No, no.
10:58 It will go through.
10:59 It will get stuck in the back.
11:00 Very good.
11:04 Applause.
11:06 Wow.
11:08 Wow.
11:09 Mr. Haroon, I think the machine is broken.
11:12 Why?
11:13 All the lasers are attached.
11:14 Come out.
11:17 Very good.
11:18 Come out.
11:19 This will be minced.
11:22 The reason we stole the egg,
11:24 that too for the laser.
11:26 Good.
11:29 One is out.
11:30 The other one is small.
11:32 Boss, if I get hurt, what will happen?
11:35 Nothing will happen.
11:36 Death.
11:37 Yes.
11:38 You will die.
11:39 It's not a big deal.
11:40 You go.
11:41 I will die?
11:42 Yes.
11:43 I will give you Rs.3200 for the Mishraag.
11:46 You give it to me.
11:47 Uncle, you are my relative.
11:51 Tell him to come soon.
11:52 He won't come.
11:53 He will die.
11:54 He won't say that if anyone wants to take anything,
11:56 he will be given here.
11:58 If anyone wants to give,
12:00 he will come running.
12:01 You don't have a wife or children.
12:04 Do you have a message for them?
12:06 I have children.
12:07 If I don't live,
12:08 what message will I give to the children?
12:10 At least say I love you to your wife.
12:13 Anyone will say.
12:14 Come on.
12:15 He is dying.
12:18 You made it Valentine's Day.
12:19 No, no.
12:20 What is your wife's name?
12:21 It's Meedan.
12:22 Say I love you.
12:23 I will say I love you to Meedan.
12:25 At least send her a message before dying.
12:28 Meedan, I have always loved you.
12:31 And till my last breath,
12:32 your name was on my tongue.
12:34 Meedan.
12:35 Say this.
12:36 I will give my wife a message.
12:38 Give it.
12:39 Meedan,
12:40 I have always loved you.
12:43 And till my last breath,
12:45 your name...
12:46 You won't be able to do it.
12:47 Meedan is her name.
12:48 Yes.
12:49 Say it in Punjabi.
12:50 In Punjabi.
12:51 You can't say Meedan in Urdu.
12:53 Say it straight.
12:54 Meedan.
12:55 Meedan is my wife.
12:56 Not yours.
12:57 Okay, okay.
12:59 I will give her your message.
13:01 Meedan, I have always loved you.
13:03 At least send her a message before dying.
13:06 Meedan.
13:07 What is Meedan?
13:08 Oh, man.
13:09 Say it straight.
13:10 Meedan, your wishes will be fulfilled.
13:12 Come on.
13:13 Come on.
13:14 Come on.
13:15 Come on.
13:16 Well done.
13:18 Good.
13:19 You know, life and death are two different things.
13:21 Good technique. Good.
13:23 That's it. You are done.
13:24 You have lost your kidney.
13:25 You are done.
13:26 You are done.
13:27 You have lost your kidney.
13:28 He says, Meedan must have lost his kidney too.
13:30 Get him to hang himself.
13:33 He is a laser.
13:35 He is a laser.
13:36 Laser.
13:38 He is a laser.
13:39 You have lost your liver too.
13:41 You have lost your liver too.
13:43 You have lost your neck too.
13:44 You have lost your neck too.
13:45 You have lost your neck too.
13:46 You have lost your neck too.
13:47 You have lost your neck too.
13:48 You have lost your neck too.
13:49 You have lost your neck too.
13:50 You have lost your neck too.
13:51 You have lost your neck too.
13:52 You have lost your neck too.
13:53 You have lost your neck too.
13:54 You have lost your neck too.
13:55 You have lost your neck too.
13:56 You have lost your neck too.
13:57 You have lost your neck too.
13:58 You have lost your neck too.
13:59 You have lost your neck too.
14:00 You have lost your neck too.
14:01 You have lost your neck too.
14:02 You have lost your neck too.
14:03 You have lost your neck too.
14:04 You have lost your neck too.
14:05 You have lost your neck too.
14:06 You have lost your neck too.
14:07 You have lost your neck too.
14:08 You have lost your neck too.
14:09 You have lost your neck too.
14:10 Give me your leg. - Take this.
14:13 So that the bigger fish also goes.
14:16 So, the machine is gone.
14:18 I will give you the same message.
14:20 Don't you understand the wisdom of a person?
14:25 What's this? - I have done all the research.
14:27 Okay. - This isn't the direction of the laser.
14:29 Okay. - This is like this.
14:32 In length. - Yes, do it in length.
14:34 You did the research? - Yes.
14:35 You seem to be very talented in this museum.
14:39 Here you go.
14:40 This is the right direction. - You move this side.
14:44 That's it. - There.
14:46 He seems to have brought us to the museum.
14:48 This is in the front. - Yes.
14:51 Hold this. - Hold on.
14:53 Yes. - This.
14:54 It's flying. It's not going to fly.
14:58 After this.. - Hold on.
15:02 After this.. - Open it.
15:05 This. - This is the egg.
15:07 Come. - Come.
15:09 This is the laser. - Come.
15:10 Look at this. - Yes.
15:12 What?
15:13 What? - Hello.
15:15 Hello. - Hello.
15:17 Hey. - Hello.
15:18 The egg is flying.
15:20 The laser is missing.
15:24 Good. Good. Clap. - Very good.
15:29 Keep the gun on your head.
15:31 Yes. - We can't pass through the laser.
15:33 Yes. - Go straight to the egg.
15:36 Pick it up and run. - Good.
15:38 But when you pick up the egg..
15:41 ..you'll feel the gas underneath.
15:43 Here. - You have to close your eyes.
15:46 What? - Yes.
15:47 We'll have to pay for all this trouble.
15:50 But you can wear a mask.
15:54 We have to take a ticket to the museum.
15:56 You should've been honest.
15:59 Why are you so tense?
16:02 Come on. - I'll give you two fritters.
16:04 Come here.
16:06 Pick up the egg and the gas.
16:09 Hold your breath.
16:11 I was dying of anger.
16:21 We have to pick it up and run.
16:24 There's a solution to this. - What is it?
16:27 We'll go there. - Yes.
16:28 We'll shoot the gas machine. - Good.
16:30 We'll shoot the laser machine. - Good.
16:32 And then we'll shoot the guard.
16:34 You're very smart. But think about it.
16:37 First, we'll shoot the guard.
16:39 Or else.. - Then we'll shoot the laser.
16:42 And then the machine.
16:43 But I don't understand.
16:45 There's only one guard at the security.
16:47 You didn't hear about Mikhail Sholokhov.
16:50 No. - He's the only one who's powerful.
16:52 He's very dangerous. He comes like a storm.
16:55 He goes like a storm.
16:57 No one can escape his eyes.
16:58 But Sholokhov is a name of a river.
17:02 A river. A sea.
17:04 A mountain. A glacier.
17:07 I asked you about the guard. Tell me about him.
17:10 You were writing the wall.
17:11 You're not a poet. You're a writer.
17:15 And Sholokhov is his crush. - Yes.
17:18 Mikhail Sholokhov is going to retire in 15 years.
17:21 Okay. - We'll wait for his retirement.
17:23 It'll take a long time.
17:25 He's outside the museum.
17:29 He's a smart dacoit. He'll be gone in a century.
17:32 The plan is good to escape from him.
17:36 I'll tell you a plan to escape from the police.
17:38 Tell me. - What is it?
17:40 Don't rob. Leave it.
17:41 Come with me. - Come.
17:43 Get up.
17:44 Hurry up. - Let's go.
17:46 Come. Come. Come. - Yes.
17:52 I'm the oldest guide of this museum. - Okay.
17:55 We'll show you the unique paintings we have.
17:59 Wow. - Like this one.
18:01 This one? - Yes.
18:02 There's a long story behind it.
18:05 Okay. We're interested. Tell us.
18:07 What's the story behind it?
18:09 What are you doing?
18:11 I'm looking at the story behind it.
18:14 Excuse me. Show me a painting of Rembrandt.
18:17 Rembrandt? - Yes.
18:19 Oh yes. This is a painting of Rembrandt.
18:21 Do you have a German shepherd?
18:25 It's Rembrandt.
18:27 Now you'll ask me where's the photo of Da Vinci?
18:30 Yes. - Where's the photo of Da Vinci?
18:32 No. He's talking about the painting.
18:35 I used to feed him the photo of Da Vinci.
18:37 I used to pay him Rs. 100 for 8 pictures and return it in 15 minutes.
18:40 Look at this. Is this a photo or a painting?
18:43 Wow. - Wow.
18:45 Oh my God. Mona butt.
18:47 Mona Lisa. - Mona Lisa. Sorry.
18:51 Actually, she looks real.
18:53 Yes. Absolutely. - Da Vinci has worked hard on the photo.
18:56 Yes. - He has made the frame cheaper.
18:59 I want to take a selfie.
19:01 This is the specialty of this painting. - Okay.
19:12 When you make a pout, the face will come forward.
19:15 When you leave it, it will go back.
19:16 Wow.
19:18 Hey, where's the egg?
19:20 Egg. Egg. Under it.
19:22 Move back. Move back.
19:25 Is it working?
19:27 None of you can stand near this egg.
19:30 This egg? - This is a Russian egg.
19:33 What's the price of it? - The price is Rs. 20 crores.
19:38 Wow.
19:40 What's the identity of the real egg?
19:42 Look at this.
19:44 God. - It's real.
19:47 It's real.
19:48 If it was a fake egg, it wouldn't have opened.
19:52 Yes. This is real.
19:54 Why is there security?
19:57 It's very strict.
19:58 The laser and all.
20:01 We have finished the laser.
20:02 What have you done?
20:04 What's the security?
20:05 There's a special system.
20:09 As soon as someone touches the egg, the system will be on.
20:13 Tell us the system.
20:15 I can't tell you that system.
20:17 He's getting scared.
20:19 Come on. Time is up.
20:22 Sholokhoff.
20:23 Yes, brother.
20:24 You called me from Russia.
20:26 Yes, brother.
20:27 You're a good man.
20:29 It's been a long time since I did security.
20:32 I think it's not my time yet.
20:33 He's a dangerous man. Did you see?
20:36 He's doing it here.
20:39 Sholokhoff doesn't even have a gun.
20:42 You guys are so useless.
20:44 Come on. Time is up.
20:46 Come behind me.
20:48 Come here.
20:49 Come, madam. I'll drop you outside.
20:51 Okay.
20:52 Put the egg in the bag.
20:55 Your father can't do it.
20:57 He'll beat you up. Leave the bag.
20:59 What's going on?
21:01 The system is working.
21:03 Put it in the bag.
21:04 Come on.
21:06 Where are you going?
21:08 She's talking and watching.
21:10 Leave it. I'll do it.
21:12 You're a good man.
21:15 I'll tell my family.
21:17 Come on.
21:18 Hold it.
21:19 Don't touch the eggs.
21:22 Okay.
21:23 I think you're the only one who knows about security.
21:27 I don't think it's a good thing.
21:30 Where are your weapons?
21:32 Where are the weapons?
21:33 They asked us to keep weapons here.
21:36 They'll do it.
21:37 Leave him.
21:41 He'll cut his throat and beat us.
21:44 Leave him.
21:45 She's beating us.
21:47 Come on.
21:48 Come on.
21:49 He ran away with the egg.
21:53 He ran away with the egg. - Who are you?
21:55 I'm the security.
21:56 He was right here.
22:05 He's still here.
22:17 Mr. Arun. - Yes.
22:19 How much was the egg? - 20 crores.
22:21 How much was the omelette?
22:23 How much was the egg? - 20 crores.
22:25 How much was the omelette?
22:27 (audience laughing)