“We had a pleasant divorce – we split our farm up so the kids could stay in one place"
- 6 months ago
A couple had a "pleasant divorce" and split their farm so their kids could stay in one place and spend holidays and dinner's together with their new partners.
Annie Muscato, 33, and her ex-husband, Derek, knew they wanted to have a "collaborative" divorce when they separated four years ago - a healthy and communicative split.
They nested for the first six months so their children - Ellie Jo, seven, and JP, five - could stay in the family home while Annie and Derek took turns staying in an apartment.
The pair then decided to divide their land and Derek, who works in medical research, built a home on the farm and now lives a quarter of a mile away from the family home.
Annie and Derek now both get to see their children every day and have rebuilt their friendship – spending holidays together with each other and their new partners.
Annie, who is finishing her PHD in leadership, from Gainesville, Florida, US, said: “We’ve all seen the terrible divorce.
“We didn’t want that for our kids.
“We made an intentional choice to it differently.
"We were making an effort to have a really collaborative, pleasant divorce.
“We both had to really commit to it.
“He’s a good friend – it helped us on how well we can do divorce.”
Annie and Derek had been together for nine years and married for seven when Annie asked for a divorce in April 2019.
She said: “We had outgrown each other.”
The pair gave counselling a go but afterwards Annie decided she still wanted to separate.
Annie said: “Derek set aside his ego.
“For a lot of people there would be bitter feelings but he took the opportunity to grow himself.”
Derek said: "At first I felt heartbroken and lost but then, through therapy and talking with friends and family, came to the conclusion that this was the best and healthiest thing for us, and our kids."
They had a marriage therapist who helped guide them to have a collaborative divorce – and kept going for counselling for the first six months of the separation.
Annie said: “We keep the kids as the compass.
“For six months we did nesting.
“We had a place in town and we took turns going there. The kids stayed at home.
“We took our vows over again when we took off our rings. We promised to always respect one another and support each other. It's still relevant.
“The promises we made were still in our lives.”
Annie Muscato, 33, and her ex-husband, Derek, knew they wanted to have a "collaborative" divorce when they separated four years ago - a healthy and communicative split.
They nested for the first six months so their children - Ellie Jo, seven, and JP, five - could stay in the family home while Annie and Derek took turns staying in an apartment.
The pair then decided to divide their land and Derek, who works in medical research, built a home on the farm and now lives a quarter of a mile away from the family home.
Annie and Derek now both get to see their children every day and have rebuilt their friendship – spending holidays together with each other and their new partners.
Annie, who is finishing her PHD in leadership, from Gainesville, Florida, US, said: “We’ve all seen the terrible divorce.
“We didn’t want that for our kids.
“We made an intentional choice to it differently.
"We were making an effort to have a really collaborative, pleasant divorce.
“We both had to really commit to it.
“He’s a good friend – it helped us on how well we can do divorce.”
Annie and Derek had been together for nine years and married for seven when Annie asked for a divorce in April 2019.
She said: “We had outgrown each other.”
The pair gave counselling a go but afterwards Annie decided she still wanted to separate.
Annie said: “Derek set aside his ego.
“For a lot of people there would be bitter feelings but he took the opportunity to grow himself.”
Derek said: "At first I felt heartbroken and lost but then, through therapy and talking with friends and family, came to the conclusion that this was the best and healthiest thing for us, and our kids."
They had a marriage therapist who helped guide them to have a collaborative divorce – and kept going for counselling for the first six months of the separation.
Annie said: “We keep the kids as the compass.
“For six months we did nesting.
“We had a place in town and we took turns going there. The kids stayed at home.
“We took our vows over again when we took off our rings. We promised to always respect one another and support each other. It's still relevant.
“The promises we made were still in our lives.”