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00:00 previously on "Sister Wives."
00:02 I do think I want to stay separated.
00:05 We've been separated probably two or three times in the past.
00:09 I always felt like that was because she couldn't manage
00:13 the relationship with her sister wives.
00:15 Maybe I was wrong.
00:17 Cody's gonna do what Cody's gonna do.
00:19 Even with Janelle, like, why aren't you reaching out there?
00:25 He's been very, very, very angry.
00:27 I don't know how you do it.
00:29 'Cause he's not who you married.
00:31 He's not who I married.
00:32 No, he hasn't been.
00:34 It's really sad seeing him go downhill.
00:39 Okay, so you haven't been heartbroken.
00:41 You don't cry. You haven't been...
00:43 -It was really... -Oh, my gosh.
00:45 It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
00:47 So you're leaving Cody. You're done.
00:49 Well...
00:50 Does he know you're done?
00:51 I think he just likes to string people along.
00:54 He's exhausting.
00:55 ♪♪
01:05 ♪♪
01:15 ♪♪
01:25 ♪♪
01:31 I'm gonna be moving my clothing business up to Utah.
01:33 I've been traveling back and forth
01:35 between Parowan and Flagstaff, like, a lot over the past year.
01:38 And it's just getting to be too much.
01:41 I already told Robin,
01:43 and I did ask her if she would mind coming over
01:46 when I told Cody, because for some reason,
01:49 he seems to be able to hear what she says
01:51 when he doesn't really hear what I say.
01:53 -Hey. -Hey.
01:56 I always want to try to be supportive of, you know,
02:00 Cody's relationship with any of his wives.
02:03 I don't know. Sometimes I feel like
02:05 I don't know what I can do, but I want to try to help.
02:08 I just realized my hair is kind of crazy.
02:10 I better grab my glasses and hold it.
02:12 [ Laughs ] Okay.
02:14 I never know what Mary's calling me over for.
02:17 "Hey, I need to talk to you. Can you come talk to me?"
02:19 Okay. You know, I just leave it at that.
02:22 [ Knock on door ]
02:24 Come in.
02:25 -Hey, Mary. -Hi.
02:33 -How's it going? -Good. How are you?
02:36 Come on in.
02:37 Honestly, I don't think that Cody's
02:39 really even gonna care.
02:41 Actually, if it would be, like,
02:44 kind of a slap in the face of realization for him,
02:49 that would be really cool,
02:50 but I don't really have a whole lot of hope for that, either.
02:54 So, is it all right if I sit here where your book is?
02:57 Yes.
02:58 I don't want to sit in the middle.
02:59 I just want to sit in here.
03:03 Ooh.
03:06 What's up?
03:07 Not much.
03:08 -What's up with you? -Really?
03:11 I don't know where to start.
03:13 Mary and I don't have a marriage, really, kind of.
03:17 Robin is very sensitive to what other people see.
03:21 So Robin, like, keeps her distance from me a lot
03:23 when I'm around Mary or when I'm around any wives.
03:26 This is something that we've discussed
03:28 as a family for years.
03:29 Do we show affection in front of the other wives?
03:32 'Cause other polygamists are able to,
03:34 and we just have never been able to.
03:38 I know that when I've been in a good place with him,
03:41 then it doesn't bother me
03:44 when he's showing affection to somebody else
03:47 because I know that he cares about me.
03:50 But then when you don't have a really good relationship
03:54 with him and you're feeling a little bit more insecure,
03:56 it's going to be hard to see him being all PDA
03:59 with somebody else.
04:01 This is the type of discussion
04:02 that we've all had through the years,
04:04 and that's kind of, I guess, where we came up
04:08 with the conclusion that it's probably best
04:11 to be a little bit more careful
04:13 and a little bit more reserved in front of the other women.
04:19 So it's interesting that Cody is seeming
04:22 to kind of have an issue with it now
04:24 that we're not supposed to show any affection
04:27 in front of each other, you know?
04:30 Everything's going okay?
04:31 - Oh, yeah, everything's going good.
04:33 Is everything going good?
04:34 - I think everything's going good.
04:37 - Things are not good.
04:39 I'm not okay with what's going on with the family.
04:41 I'm really, really struggling with it.
04:43 - It's really awkward because the only wife
04:45 I have a relationship with right now is Robin,
04:48 but we've never been allowed to essentially be in love
04:51 with each other or find solace in each other
04:54 because this kind of quasi-plural marriage mess
04:59 that's been going on,
05:01 and now everybody else is leaving.
05:03 Everybody else is gone.
05:04 We're having these struggles with everybody else,
05:06 but we still don't feel like we can expose
05:09 our place of solace,
05:12 our love for each other in any way.
05:15 This is not a safe place for us.
05:17 - Okay, well, thanks for coming over.
05:20 I told Robin this the other day
05:22 and just thought I'd let you know
05:23 [laughs]
05:25 that I am going to downsize,
05:33 and get a smaller place,
05:35 and move my clothing business up to the B&B.
05:40 So I'll just be spending more time up there.
05:44 - Cool. That's good, right?
05:47 Or is it just because you have to?
05:50 - We talked about this before,
05:52 and she's like, "Cody's not gonna care,
05:53 and he's gonna be good with it and stuff,"
05:56 and I'm like, "Please say the right thing.
06:01 Please.
06:04 Please give her something to hang on to."
06:08 - Um, sorry, I'm distracted by a ring.
06:11 That's a different ring.
06:13 [laughs]
06:14 Is that not something I should say?
06:17 - Just a ring.
06:18 - It's a cool ring, right?
06:19 - It's a cool ring.
06:20 - Cool ring? Wow, that sounded awkward.
06:22 - There's so much nuance going on here.
06:25 Distracted by a ring?
06:27 I--I--I--I--
06:29 What is going on?
06:31 - It's weird that he's being so awkward about it.
06:35 Like, if he doesn't want me to see the ring,
06:37 don't wear it to my house.
06:39 - I didn't mean to step in the middle of something there.
06:41 - No, no, please.
06:43 - I did notice that it was replacing the clodder ring
06:47 that we all used to wear together.
06:50 I mean, I have no idea what this ring is
06:52 or where it came from, if he got it,
06:54 if Robin got it for him, if they got it together.
06:56 I--literally, I have no idea,
06:57 and I--frankly, I don't care.
07:00 [upbeat music]
07:03 ♪
07:10 - Garrison bought a house in Flagstaff,
07:17 so we're gonna go look at it.
07:19 I'm super excited.
07:20 [laughter]
07:21 - Okay, here it is. - Okay.
07:23 - There's a discussion about Gwen and Gabe
07:26 both moving in with Garrison as roommates.
07:29 Is this a good idea? We don't know.
07:33 - Hey, guys. - Hey.
07:34 - This is a robbery. - Okay.
07:36 I'm very reticent about Gwendolyn moving in
07:40 with Gabe and Garrison.
07:42 Politically, they're very, very, very, very different,
07:44 and then Gwendolyn has a dog, Gabe has a dog.
07:48 There's a cat--Kathy's Garrison's cat.
07:50 I just think it sounds very problematic.
07:55 - I kind of want to show them what rooms you're thinking
07:57 are whose and stuff. - Yes.
07:58 - Okay, perfect. - Do we have to call rooms?
08:00 - You--well, it's gonna be based off of needs,
08:04 'cause one of the rooms has two closets,
08:05 and it has a lot of closet space,
08:06 but it's a little bit smaller,
08:08 and then one of the rooms has, like,
08:09 minimal closet space, but it's a lot bigger.
08:13 - I might need to compensate for a lack of closet space
08:16 considering I came out.
08:18 [laughter]
08:23 Gwendolyn came out of the closet as bisexual--
08:26 oh, my gosh--over a year ago.
08:29 - That went over my head until they started laughing.
08:31 - You're funny. You're funny. - Yeah.
08:33 - It took us all a second to get in, though, right?
08:35 We're sitting there, and it took a second to process it.
08:38 Gwendolyn has come out.
08:40 - So-- - So you guys need to look
08:41 at the bathroom, 'cause you're gonna be sharing a bathroom.
08:44 - Listen, I have accidentally used men's restrooms.
08:47 They're disgusting.
08:49 I walked in the wrong door, and I used the bathroom,
08:52 and I got to wash my hands,
08:54 and I'm like, "That's a weird scene."
08:57 [laughter]
08:58 - Yeah, so it's small, but we incorporate shower caddies,
09:02 or there's a closet that can hold your stuff.
09:04 - So Gabe and Garrison are my biological children,
09:07 and Gwen is Christine's biological child.
09:10 They all lived together in one house
09:12 back when we lived in Utah,
09:13 but after we moved to Las Vegas, we all had separate homes,
09:16 but they still functioned, in every respect,
09:18 as brother and sister.
09:20 - The high ceilings make a huge difference.
09:22 - Oh, my gosh. - I can fit.
09:23 - So at this point, our family,
09:28 to use an analogy, kind of feels like
09:31 we've all abandoned ship in different lifeboats.
09:34 Every individual mom is doing a great job
09:38 at keeping their unit together.
09:40 I think it's really nice that my mom and her kids
09:43 and Christine and her kids can actually maintain
09:46 a really functional relationship.
09:49 It gives me a lot of hope that we can still have
09:52 this warm place for each other.
09:55 - The other thing is I'll be sending you guys leases,
09:57 and if you guys, for my--
10:01 just for the first set of leases,
10:03 we'd have you guys be co-signers.
10:05 That's just to cover me,
10:06 and if we all get in a fight or something,
10:09 we're still--you guys are still legally bound
10:11 to pay rent or something.
10:12 [laughter]
10:14 - Gwen. It's a Gwen day fight.
10:16 Gwen. Hmm.
10:18 - You know what, Gwen?
10:19 I'm gonna leave my caddy in the shower.
10:21 - Gabe.
10:23 I'm gonna stop cleaning up my dog's poops.
10:25 - Ooh. - Oh!
10:26 - Yeah. Yeah, that's right.
10:27 - The thing is is they are siblings.
10:29 They are.
10:30 I mean, sometimes siblings can move in with each other,
10:32 and sometimes they can't.
10:34 I could hurt them permanently, possibly.
10:36 I mean, come on.
10:37 I don't know what would happen.
10:39 [dramatic music]
10:42 ♪
10:44 - I don't want you to think that I'm walking away
10:47 because, sorry, I still have hope, okay?
10:51 Conversations like this basically just tell me,
10:55 "Go ahead, Mary, and just live your life on your own
10:59 like you've been doing,
11:00 because nothing else is gonna change."
11:02 - I'm not pressuring you kind of to move.
11:05 I mean, it's all on the table at this point.
11:07 - If things are as bad as I think they are,
11:09 why not move on?
11:11 ♪
11:14 [upbeat music]
11:17 ♪
11:24 - I think the more time Mary spends at the B&B,
11:28 for her, it's sort of like her safe and happy place.
11:31 I'm like, "Okay, cool.
11:33 You're moving the business to the B&B.
11:34 Okay, sounds like a natural course of action."
11:37 - So that's a good thing, right?
11:39 I mean, like, you're having a hard time getting help.
11:42 Is that why?
11:43 - No, it's really more just about that I'm--
11:47 like, in the past year since Mom passed,
11:50 I am spending a lot of time on the road,
11:52 and I'm not able to focus on one or the other
11:56 as much as I need to,
11:57 so I need to put them in the same place.
12:00 - I wonder if I'm supposed to be reading
12:01 between the lines here.
12:03 I can't tell if she's saying,
12:04 "Hey, I'm gonna move my business to the B&B."
12:07 So I go, "No, no, Mary, please don't.
12:09 Stay here."
12:10 'Cause I don't see her that often.
12:12 But I'm not trying to act like we're getting back
12:14 into this marriage full-fledged.
12:16 I'm not trying to do that.
12:17 I think I see the writing on the wall.
12:21 I'm literally waiting for her to catch up.
12:24 - Are you gonna leave the clothes on the racks
12:26 when you move them?
12:28 - Probably not. - Probably not, okay.
12:30 - They won't move very well on the racks.
12:32 - I just know that you'd done that before.
12:34 They used to haul them in the trailer on the racks.
12:36 - The--mm-mm.
12:37 The racks wouldn't roll in.
12:39 I wanted to.
12:40 I thought that was a great idea, but they wouldn't roll in.
12:41 - I remember having them in there, in that trailer,
12:44 but it was just a couple of racks.
12:46 And I remember somebody coming up to me
12:48 at one of your cells,
12:50 and I was closing the door, and she said--
12:53 and I grabbed-- I had them in my hand.
12:54 She finally goes, "Ah, I'm just gonna buy 'em."
12:57 - That's funny. I don't remember that at all.
12:58 - That was at God Works in Las Vegas.
13:01 - See, this is why I wonder
13:04 if there's still something there.
13:06 He's talking about something that happened
13:08 five, six, seven years ago.
13:10 - I know, you just don't remember that stuff
13:12 if they're not somebody important in your life.
13:16 - It freaked me out, so I was--
13:20 I was stressed out about it 'cause I was worried.
13:22 - Oh.
13:23 - We'll just have to make sure that we're scheduling.
13:28 - Yep.
13:32 He's scowling at you.
13:34 - Scheduling? What are you--
13:35 - Like, in order for us to see each other.
13:40 - Yeah.
13:41 - Robin and Mary are still talking
13:42 about this relationship that the three of us have,
13:45 like we're a family.
13:46 And what I'm gathering from what Robin is saying is, like,
13:50 "Well, you gotta be around because this is your wife."
13:53 And I'm like,
13:56 "Man, I just don't need that kind of pressure from you."
14:01 - You know, there's a lot
14:03 that's been going down with our family,
14:05 and it's been very frustrating to watch.
14:09 It's all of them doing it.
14:11 It's Cody with Christine and Cody with Janelle.
14:14 And I have no say, and I have no influence whatsoever.
14:18 And it's like Mary's here,
14:20 and she's still trying to hang on,
14:23 and I just feel like there's just so little left.
14:27 And I'm, like,
14:31 trying to show her that there's still some hope,
14:35 and Cody is not helping me with that.
14:39 It's very frustrating.
14:42 And some days it feels like a deal-breaker.
14:44 ♪ ♪
14:48 - I'm just telling you guys, I told your mom,
14:50 I live in a townhouse,
14:51 and my neighbor wants to get out of his contract early.
14:55 So he talked to me, and he's like,
14:56 "You have a big family, Christine.
14:58 Do you have anybody that might want to move in?"
15:00 And I talked to her mom totally about moving in next to me,
15:03 saying it would be fun, but she said no.
15:06 She totally rejected me. - She said, "Hannah."
15:07 - No, she rejected me hard core.
15:09 It was like a slam no.
15:11 - I don't know if it was that. - But I'm just saying,
15:12 I would love it.
15:14 - If things are as bad as I think they are
15:16 between Cody and Janelle,
15:21 why start planting your roots?
15:24 Why not move on?
15:27 - I'm not pressuring you kind of to move.
15:29 - Sort of. - Sort of.
15:32 - No, I know, I mean, it's all on the table at this point.
15:34 - Okay, it is. - 'Cause I would really love
15:35 to be next to Maddie and the babies, too.
15:37 - Oh, yes, yes.
15:38 - So maybe we have a bunch of houses all over the country
15:41 that we just buy together.
15:42 - You know what?
15:43 Why don't we think about that, seriously?
15:44 - Property is a lot cheaper in North Carolina
15:47 than Flagstaff or Utah, to be completely honest.
15:49 And so I don't know, we just talk about a lot of things
15:52 about just to get back together again.
15:55 - I loved our Christmas.
15:56 I loved when we got together at the rental.
15:58 So for me, if you don't,
15:59 is that kind of what you're envisioning?
16:00 - I could host a Christmas here.
16:02 - Isn't that what you're thinking?
16:03 Is that kind of a thing
16:04 where we can just all hang out together?
16:06 - If we wanna just make it easy,
16:07 so we're not trying to figure out rentals
16:09 and where everybody's gonna be,
16:11 if this is an option, hey, we're gonna do Christmas,
16:14 can we do Christmas here?
16:15 Yes.
16:15 - A couple days after Christmas,
16:17 McKelty, Isabel, Truly, and I went down to Flagstaff
16:20 and we hung out with Janelle and some of her kids
16:23 at a house that we rented.
16:25 And it was so fun.
16:26 We tried to do as many traditions as possible
16:28 and we had a really great time seeing everybody.
16:31 Cody didn't go over to the rental at all for Christmas.
16:35 He didn't go over.
16:36 He didn't call them on Christmas day.
16:39 You guys think that from now on,
16:40 it might just be separate Thanksgivings and Christmases
16:42 and not doing it all together?
16:44 - Christine, wherever you're having Thanksgiving,
16:46 I wanna have Thanksgiving, so.
16:48 - I'm not going to get together
16:49 with everybody for Christmas.
16:51 I'll hang out with Janelle and her kids.
16:53 I have no plan on, I'm not gonna, no.
16:57 - Really, truly, the holidays are permanently altered
16:59 at this point.
17:01 I do not foresee that Cody and I
17:02 will probably ever spend a holiday again.
17:05 - I mean, like, there's a lot of things that we could do,
17:06 but yeah, I think we could always plan on
17:09 doing it together. - Some variation of together.
17:12 - Me and Garrison are at odds with my dad
17:14 because when we expressed our discontent
17:18 with how things were going with COVID,
17:20 I was met with like, just a wall.
17:24 Like, there was no line of dialogue.
17:27 I think that that is what really drove the wedge
17:31 between us.
17:34 - I would love to celebrate things with you.
17:36 I loved Christmas, like coming back for Christmas.
17:38 And I think it'll be kind of like that.
17:40 We'll just be like, I'll do,
17:41 we'll just figure out the holidays.
17:43 - It's gonna look different every year.
17:46 I think it'll look different every year,
17:47 but we'll always do some sort of together.
17:49 - It feels very permanent
17:51 that things are gonna be separate.
17:54 - My kids,
17:55 my kids are more used to Cody not being in their life.
18:02 He just wasn't around as much,
18:03 but he has been around Janelle's kids.
18:05 - I have worried about my boy's mental health.
18:08 Gabriel feels everything very, very deeply,
18:10 but he's also the kid who doesn't say anything.
18:13 And Garrison just seems angry or sad or,
18:18 like he's not as happy-go-lucky as he used to be.
18:23 For them, this is just a lot more devastating
18:26 than it has been for my kids.
18:28 - I don't have a problem saying it,
18:35 but I think Cody's gonna have a problem hearing it.
18:38 This does not mean I'm leaving the family or you.
18:42 - Okay, good on you, Mary.
18:44 It actually has no effect on me.
18:47 - I don't want you to think that I'm walking away
18:51 because, sorry, I still have hope.
18:53 - In my head, I'm really wondering
18:55 why she lives in Flagstaff.
18:57 (upbeat music)
19:02 - So are you going to actually
19:13 address the concern that you have?
19:16 - What concern?
19:20 No, I'm not gonna.
19:21 Why would I address that concern?
19:23 - Well, no, you wanted to make it
19:24 something specifically clear, so.
19:26 - Fine.
19:30 I didn't want Robin to think or you to think,
19:32 but like really, it's, let's--
19:36 - No, just don't.
19:37 Just--
19:38 - What?
19:39 Why are you so weird?
19:44 - I'm the weird one?
19:46 I'm trying to get Mary to tell Cody
19:49 that her moving her business up there
19:52 does not mean she's not still committed
19:56 and he needs to know it.
19:58 Just tell him what you want to make sure--
19:59 - I'm not the one who's finalized anything.
20:02 I don't have a problem saying it,
20:06 but I think Cody's gonna have a problem hearing it.
20:11 - Just, just--
20:13 - This does not mean I'm leaving the family or you.
20:18 So, it really is purely just a business thing.
20:23 - Okay, good on you, Mary.
20:27 It actually has no effect on me.
20:30 So Lizzie's is all about sort of this
20:33 sort of fun heritage thing, you know, family heritage.
20:37 And if you're living there
20:39 and running the business from there,
20:41 is there a need to have Lizzie's continue
20:44 or is that more of just like something that's special?
20:46 I'm just trying to understand.
20:48 - I'm gonna say this
20:50 and you're gonna download it to your hard drive.
20:53 This house is sentimental
20:54 and it doesn't matter what it is.
20:56 - I understand.
20:57 - Do you?
20:58 You keep talking business like--
20:59 - No, no, no, no, no, no.
21:01 Keeping the house was the important thing.
21:03 Having the house was the important thing.
21:05 Having the house and the family is the important thing.
21:07 I've always known that.
21:09 And I didn't agree with her buying it
21:11 because it was just sentimental,
21:12 but I'm glad she did it
21:13 because it gave her a great experience
21:16 with her mother's last years.
21:18 So I'm not complaining about her B&B.
21:22 I'm just questioning what she's doing.
21:24 What are you doing, Mary?
21:26 In my head, I'm really wondering why she lives in Flagstaff.
21:30 - I think what it is that he is not getting.
21:34 - Just so you can say it to him.
21:37 - I can say it to him.
21:38 And hasn't since day one
21:42 is that I didn't buy this house for me to live in.
21:45 And I didn't buy it for me to move out
21:47 and to leave the family and to leave you and move up there.
21:49 That's not why I bought it.
21:51 That's never was my intention.
21:53 And you--
21:54 - I'm not saying that's what you're saying.
21:55 - I know, but you've always kind of,
21:57 like it has felt to me that that's kind of
22:00 what you've implied.
22:01 - I don't think that's what's going on.
22:02 - But why would she have a house,
22:04 like just sitting there empty
22:06 if she's not gonna try and find out?
22:06 - No, that's not what I'm saying.
22:08 I'm not saying you don't live in the house
22:10 so you're misunderstanding me.
22:11 - Okay.
22:12 - I'm saying move into the house, use it more.
22:14 - She doesn't want to move into it, that's the point.
22:19 - You're just being forced to move into it.
22:21 - She's not moving into it.
22:23 - You're running your business out of it.
22:25 - Yes, but she's not moving into it.
22:27 - I'm still getting a house here in Flagstaff.
22:30 I'm gonna get a smaller house
22:31 and I'm going to be living here.
22:34 Oh, and sometimes people have two homes.
22:37 Oh, guess what?
22:37 So do polygamous men.
22:40 They have multiple homes
22:42 and they live in both of them, usually.
22:45 I'm living in one room while I stay there.
22:49 It's still a business.
22:51 - I understand.
22:53 - Maybe I don't understand.
22:55 I mean, I am super confused.
22:57 She's taking up a room
22:59 that's supposed to be there to be let out.
23:03 She's not moving into it,
23:04 but her business is gonna be there, both businesses.
23:08 And only reason she has space in Flagstaff
23:12 is for a remote relationship with me and Robin.
23:16 - Cody's not sure why I would use one of the rooms
23:22 that we would rent out.
23:24 Why does he care?
23:26 I mean, he hasn't cared what room I sleep in
23:28 for the last, you know, decade.
23:30 So I don't know why he'd care now,
23:32 but does he not remember
23:35 that there was this space that my mom stayed in
23:39 and she's clearly not using it anymore.
23:42 So maybe I just use that same space.
23:45 - Listen, to be honest with you,
23:48 I'm like gonna break it all down.
23:50 Like, what do I wanna do with it?
23:51 I don't know.
23:53 I don't know.
23:54 I don't want to live there.
23:55 I don't want it to be my house.
23:57 I've said since the second we were kicked out of Utah,
23:59 I don't want to live back in Utah.
24:05 I don't want you to think that I'm walking away
24:09 because, sorry, I still have hope, okay?
24:12 At this point with a house, with a business,
24:15 I have no idea what to do with it.
24:16 And it causes me more anxiety than you have any idea.
24:20 I was really just kind of hoping
24:27 that he would care a little bit more.
24:29 There wasn't really anything specific
24:31 that I wanted him to say or do.
24:34 I just wanted him to have an air of caring
24:39 and that just was not there.
24:42 - She just doesn't want it to be like her,
24:44 she doesn't want to move there.
24:46 - It just wasn't ever my intention.
24:48 It's not what I wanted.
24:51 But like conversations like this basically just tell me,
24:55 go ahead, Mary, and just live your life on your own
25:01 like you've been doing
25:02 because nothing else is gonna change.
25:04 - What I'm seeing here is Robin being an advocate
25:11 of me and Mary and our reconciliation and our marriage.
25:16 And they're making me feel very uncomfortable.
25:20 I got one wife that I've got a great relationship with
25:23 and I'm afraid if I abandon these women
25:27 that she'll lose respect for me.
25:29 (dramatic music)
25:32 - I wanna build a barn of minimum out there
25:38 and you could live in that loft.
25:40 - It's just insulting.
25:43 - I think the writing is on the wall,
25:46 it's been obvious to me.
25:49 It's not really fair to either of us,
25:51 but as long as she wants to live in this denial,
25:55 I guess I can live in it with her.
25:57 (dramatic music)
26:00 - So I'm in Flagstaff for Janelle's birthday.
26:14 But Maddie told me the other day that Janelle told her
26:18 that she's gonna go out for her birthday with Cody.
26:21 - You know, before Cody and I had our big fight,
26:23 we had reached a point where we were very
26:27 we weren't connected.
26:28 And I was very frustrated with him
26:30 that he wasn't making an effort to see Savannah.
26:33 But on a very superficial level,
26:35 Cody and I can go and hang out
26:37 and we can have a great time
26:39 if I just compartmentalize and put away all the other stuff.
26:42 So when he called, I'm like,
26:43 "Yeah, hey, it's better than staying home and watching TV."
26:46 (dramatic music)
26:48 - I think they're an interesting place,
26:50 a real interesting place in the relationship.
26:52 Janelle still loves him, still wants to be with him
26:54 as far as I know.
26:55 I know things are hard.
27:01 I don't know if Cody's worked things out with her kids.
27:06 And like, I think that most of her kids
27:08 are pretty frustrated with him right now.
27:10 - At this point, I really don't foresee Cody and I
27:13 working our relationship out.
27:15 I have to always be open to the possibility
27:17 that we will somehow be struck by lightning
27:19 and then it will all be happily ever after.
27:22 But I'm also a realist.
27:24 And I know that it doesn't look good.
27:27 - I told Maddie, I'm like,
27:28 "Look, your mom just needs to be happy.
27:30 Just whatever can make your mom happy.
27:33 That's what I'm gonna support her doing.
27:34 If she wants to stay,
27:35 I'm gonna totally support her staying in Five Step.
27:38 I'll support her staying with Cody.
27:40 You know, whatever she wants to do,
27:42 I'm going to support it, no problem."
27:44 - You know, I really just hope we have this easy, nice time.
27:48 Our last interaction was the worst fight we've probably had.
27:52 - You stay and talk.
27:54 - No, I'm not going to, because you're not listening.
27:58 - You're not listening to me.
27:59 - And I'm not going to.
28:01 - Okay, so we're done.
28:01 - Goodbye.
28:02 - (beep) you.
28:03 I don't want any fighting.
28:06 I just want to be easy and have fun and celebrate the day.
28:22 - Mary doesn't know what she wants,
28:24 but she's asking me and telling me stuff.
28:28 I'm just going to throw out ideas.
28:30 And the reason is, is because she doesn't know what she wants.
28:33 I don't know what she wants.
28:35 And I've been guessing for 33 years what she wants.
28:38 Guessing, because she never knows.
28:41 Mary, do you have any ability to, like,
28:46 do something crazy with Coyote Pass really fast?
28:51 - Build a small house, build the casita
28:53 like Janelle's talking about.
28:54 Just build something fast.
28:55 - Coyote, we can't do that.
28:55 From what I've understood you to say,
28:58 we can't do anything until we build,
29:00 until we divide the property.
29:01 - My point isn't to do it right now.
29:04 I'm like, let's get it paid for.
29:05 And once we've got it paid for,
29:06 we divide it and you build on it.
29:08 Okay, I don't know if you know where Janelle's at.
29:10 She's kind of moved this idea.
29:12 We moved the trailer off.
29:13 She didn't want to spend the winter there.
29:15 Now she's got an apartment.
29:17 I mean, so you wouldn't want to live out there in an RV
29:20 while they're building your house or anything like that,
29:22 would you, by chance?
29:22 And I'm not pushing that.
29:25 - Oh, hell no.
29:26 There's no way I'm going to go live in an RV.
29:29 - It was very hard living on Coyote Pass,
29:31 even though it's beautiful, in the RV.
29:33 It sucked.
29:34 But she had dogs.
29:37 It's a different environment,
29:38 three and two dogs versus one.
29:40 You know what I'm saying?
29:41 - Hey, Mary, why don't you do this?
29:44 You know, 'cause it'll be easier to live in an RV
29:47 with just you all alone, just one person.
29:52 - This is why I see hope,
29:55 because Mary is still part of Cody's big picture.
29:59 That's why he says things like,
30:01 "Why don't you hurry and build a house on the property?"
30:05 'Cause she's still a part of his future.
30:08 - I have an idea that might be really functional.
30:12 I don't know.
30:12 Do you guys want to hear it?
30:13 - Sure, go for it.
30:15 - But it wouldn't be,
30:17 I don't know if it's very functional.
30:18 - I know, I'm like.
30:19 - No, I want to build a barn-dominium out there.
30:22 I want a place to put my car
30:24 that I don't drive except for in the summer.
30:27 I want a place to put my stuff.
30:29 Yeah, the barn-dominium is basically a big,
30:33 giant garage or barn that has a loft apartment in it.
30:38 You know, so it's like a condominium, but it's a barn.
30:41 A metal building that goes up fast, lickety-split.
30:45 - And you can do whatever you want on the inside.
30:47 - Well.
30:47 - Can you?
30:48 - Technically, I would get a permit for,
30:50 I'd show him the design.
30:51 I'd get a permit for the loft I'd put in it.
30:54 And you could live in that loft.
30:56 I mean, it'll have, you know, like a shower, fridge,
31:00 you know, like normal, like it'd be about this big.
31:02 - So basically, he just wants to put me out there
31:07 with all the stuff, the extra stuff
31:09 that he doesn't want to see, he doesn't want to deal with,
31:11 he doesn't have room for.
31:14 The cars, the storage, the Mary.
31:17 - Haven't figured out, just had the idea,
31:20 'cause I'm tired of, we're just overwhelmed with stuff.
31:24 Janelle moved into the RV and then Christine left
31:28 and there was so much stuff that needed to go to storage.
31:31 It was just overwhelming.
31:33 - You know, I get that he thinks that he's like,
31:35 amazing and gracious and brilliant.
31:39 It's just insulting.
31:40 You know what, it would just make more sense
31:43 to just have a house that is just smaller.
31:48 And also, I just don't really want to live long-term,
31:50 indefinitely in an RV.
31:52 I don't think that that is something I would want.
31:55 - There are no good answers here, I don't think.
31:57 Not in the view of where we're at.
32:00 And I think part of the confusion is, for me and Mary,
32:04 where are me and Mary at?
32:06 I think the writing is on the wall, it's been obvious to me.
32:10 When I try to go into that discussion with Mary,
32:13 I get so much resistance.
32:15 It's not really fair to either of us,
32:17 but as long as she wants to live in this denial,
32:21 I guess I can live in it with her.
32:24 So I think you're making a good move.
32:28 I'm not worried about you.
32:29 I'm not like going, oh, you're leaving, no, don't,
32:32 'cause I don't think you are, so don't worry.
32:34 - I went into this conversation just kind of knowing
32:40 that he wasn't really gonna give a flying rat's ass.
32:45 And so, yeah, he's saying that he's not concerned
32:50 about me leaving, 'cause he's not concerned at all
32:55 about anything about me.
33:00 - Well.
33:05 - Well, thanks for letting me know.
33:07 - Yep.
33:09 - She can really be in this dark place,
33:12 and she'll go, "Why am I trying?"
33:15 I said, "Mary, if you don't wanna try anymore,
33:18 "then I want you to be happy.
33:22 "And if you don't wanna do this anymore
33:25 "and you don't see that there's any hope,
33:27 "then I don't wanna be selfish and keep you here."
33:32 And she said, "Don't ever say that to me again."
33:36 And she says, "I need you to always tell me there's hope."
33:41 She says, "I need you to always be fighting
33:51 "for our relationship, because there's days
33:54 "when I am too weak to continue to fight.
33:57 "I need someone else to fight."
34:00 And I said, "Okay."
34:03 (gentle music)
34:06 - I wish that he saw some value in me, and he doesn't.
34:11 He wants to put me in the loft of his
34:13 freakin' barn dominium.
34:16 You know?
34:19 - It's been almost six months
34:27 since Janelle and I had our fight.
34:29 - Neither of us are making great strides
34:31 or declarations of, "I want this to work out,"
34:34 or, "I found a counselor."
34:36 - If there is anything here, I don't know.
34:38 Like, it's starting over, right?
34:39 It's redefining.
34:41 - I kinda feel like a guy on a first date
34:43 that's like, "Jonesin'," you know?
34:44 Like, "Hey, are we gonna kiss after this date?"
34:48 (upbeat music)
34:55 (upbeat music)
34:57 - Today's Janelle's birthday,
35:09 and we are going to go out on a date.
35:15 I literally have dinner reservations
35:16 at the nicest restaurant, I think, in all of Arizona.
35:21 But it's a secret.
35:22 I'm not telling Janelle where we're going.
35:24 We're just going.
35:24 - How we got here, I have no idea,
35:30 but we're basically trying to start over.
35:34 - It's been almost six months
35:36 since Janelle and I had our fight.
35:38 Then four months ago, her and I sat down to dinner,
35:41 and she just said, "I want a separation."
35:43 - So we're gonna go out,
35:46 see, you know, kind of like investigate ourselves.
35:53 Let's see how we can get along.
35:55 Let's see how we're doing.
35:56 - Here's the thing.
35:58 We're obviously in different places, okay?
36:01 And we have different points of view in the relationship,
36:05 but she's talking about not reconciling it.
36:07 I don't know why we can't,
36:10 which means I'm clueless to what the real problem is,
36:14 so it's complicated.
36:16 - It's a weird place to be when you are getting a divorce
36:19 while you're still sleeping with your wife and lover
36:22 in a relationship.
36:27 And so in this case, with Janelle,
36:30 I see potential for us to manage it
36:32 and to keep that relationship,
36:34 but I do struggle wondering how,
36:37 you know, we do have to unwind the past
36:39 and then figure out what our relationship is now
36:42 and how to do that.
36:43 So we'll see how all this plays out,
36:45 but it's date night, and we're gonna see how this goes.
36:49 (upbeat music)
36:51 - Neither of us are making great strides or declarations
36:53 of, "I want this to work out," or, "I found a counselor."
36:57 We're just kind of in this place
36:58 where there's no connection anymore,
37:03 but I still enjoy his company.
37:05 So this date, to me, it's just a fun time to go hang out
37:09 and do something for my birthday, mark the occasion.
37:12 We're not gonna discuss deep things.
37:14 I just wanna go out easy, almost like it's a date,
37:17 just a first date, second date, third date, something.
37:20 I don't know, you know?
37:21 - All right.
37:23 So happy birthday.
37:30 - Thanks.
37:31 I think we're gonna have to, like, figure out.
37:41 - What?
37:44 I mean, are you excited about your birthday?
37:47 - Yes.
37:48 - You know what?
37:48 It's so weird 'cause it's awkwardly familiar.
37:51 Like, it's a little bit awkward
37:52 'cause of everything that's happened, but this is familiar.
37:54 We've been together almost 30 years.
37:57 - So if you wanted to go out for your birthday
38:01 and wanted to go to the nicest restaurant
38:03 in all of Arizona.
38:04 - It would be like Mariposa or something.
38:08 - It would be Mariposa, wouldn't it?
38:10 - Did you really? - Yeah.
38:11 - Get a reservation at Mariposa?
38:13 - Yeah, I did.
38:13 - Honey, thank you.
38:15 Wow.
38:16 - Yeah.
38:17 - Wow.
38:18 It's actually really fun.
38:19 It's a very nice gesture
38:20 that he somehow got a reservation at this place.
38:23 Wow.
38:24 - Yeah, I get stuffed on.
38:27 (laughs)
38:28 - I've wanted to go there forever
38:29 'cause we always would make plans
38:30 and we always had to cancel it or something.
38:32 - Yeah, it's like, it's the hardest restaurant
38:36 in all of Arizona to get into.
38:37 - Oh, thanks.
38:38 - She can't get a reservation there, and I've got one.
38:42 And so I feel like the magic man again.
38:45 You know what I mean?
38:46 - Good, well, just a fun, easy evening, right?
38:49 - Well, that's why I wanted to dress nice
38:51 'cause I don't like going to that place
38:53 unless I'm in slacks.
38:54 - Yeah, fun, easy evening.
38:56 - So I kind of feel like a guy on a first date
38:59 that's like Jones and, you know, like,
39:01 hey, are we gonna kiss after this date?
39:04 - Let's just be easy.
39:05 Like I thought about when I was like growing up,
39:09 they always had those, like when you were a teenager,
39:11 they always had those question books
39:14 that you talk about on your first date.
39:17 - Oh, you wanna get a first date question book, that's fun.
39:21 - No, I feel like we're sort of,
39:22 if there is anything here, I don't know.
39:25 Like it's starting over, right?
39:26 It's redefining.
39:27 - Sure, yeah.
39:29 I made all this effort to get to Mariposa and dress nice
39:35 specifically because I was looking for an edge
39:40 into reconciliation, and there's a block.
39:43 Now, you know, there's another block.
39:46 And I'm just bringing me down a notch,
39:48 bringing me down a notch, bringing me down a notch.
39:51 - Yeah.
39:53 - I mean, I just don't think there's much path forward
39:57 for Cody and I.
39:59 We just are different people now.
40:01 He thinks differently.
40:02 He's very, very wrapped up
40:04 with the children at Robin's house.
40:06 Robin and he think a lot alike.
40:09 They wanna live the same kind of life.
40:11 And I'm really looking for a relationship
40:12 where I'm equally considered.
40:14 There, I feel like.
40:17 - You feel like that was plenty?
40:19 - Yeah, I feel like, I don't wanna ruin it so much
40:21 by having, there's like the pressure of the camera.
40:25 You know what I mean?
40:27 We did turn the cameras off after a little bit
40:29 just because they can be somewhat intrusive.
40:33 And I just wanted to relax and have fun for my birthday.
40:36 You know what?
40:40 I mean, the day was nice.
40:41 We like to go to Sedona.
40:42 We like to look at the art galleries.
40:44 The meal was beautiful.
40:46 The scenery was amazing.
40:48 And then we came home and it was great.
40:50 At one point, I slipped my hand into his out of habit.
40:56 I thought, this feels really weird.
40:58 And I took my hand back out of his hand.
41:00 It just didn't feel right anymore.
41:03 - I don't know why we can't reconcile.
41:10 - So we had a bad fight.
41:12 We've had worse.
41:13 So we're separated.
41:16 We've had other separations.
41:18 - You know, there just isn't anything there anymore.
41:24 There just isn't.
41:26 Our relationship has been unraveling for years.
41:28 - I've been in love with her before.
41:32 So I can be in love with her again.
41:38 I just feel like we need to reestablish trust.
41:43 I want to feel like I am a person to her, not an object.
41:48 - Next time on Sister Wives.
41:55 - We weren't targeting her.
41:56 We were all trying to have these options open
41:58 so that we could all do this Christmas exchange
42:00 because we've been doing it for 20 years.
42:02 - She was like testing us
42:03 how we don't respect her as a mother.
42:05 - You know what, Robin?
42:06 Have him.
42:07 We're all grown adults
42:09 that don't need a father figure anymore.
42:11 - I would like to say that I didn't care,
42:14 but it still hurts.
42:15 - Did I hurt them in living plural marriage?
42:18 - Amidst all the struggles we're having as a family,
42:23 I love that McKelty is still warm to us.
42:26 - Thank you for coming, everybody.
42:28 It's my ex-anniversary.
42:31 First, I love hanging out with these ladies.
42:33 I think Janelle could use as much friendship as possible.
42:35 I'm not going to be here forever.