Relationship expert who went on 150 first dates before finding love has set up an app to help couples stay together
- last year
A relationship expert who went on 150 first dates before finding love has set up an app to help couples stay together.
Ali Maggioncalda, said she went on her epic date journey after an "amicable" break up with her college sweetheart at the age of 25.
Her five- year dating period started in April 2017 in London where she was studying at the Royal College of Art.
She had several month-long breaks in between before returning to the Bay Area in California in August 2019.
Over the next five years she "grew a lot" while using dating apps to meet potential suitor.
The Stanford University graduate, 31, from San Francisco met her partner Cameron, a tech specialist, in August 2022 in San Francisco.
After graduating Ali founded 'Lovewick', an app which helps couples deepen their relationship with questions to explore together, date ideas, and research-led relationship advice.
Ali said: "When I found myself single and completely new to the “dating strangers” experience the idea of dating apps and having thousands of possibilities was exciting but quickly also became a bit heartbreaking.
"On dating apps there’s this perception of infinite choice, we are so freaking critical and quick to reject someone based on one little “ick” in their profile.
"I made a lot of mistakes here initially. Instead of saying, “eh, he’s not tall enough” or “Hmm, they didn’t go to a very good school”, pause to really reflect on the underlying values associated with those criticisms, and then search for those values in profiles instead.
"For instance, going to a good school was a poor shortcut I used to measure whether someone was curious, disciplined, and able to support themselves financially.
During her dating years Ali said she learned more about herself by meeting so many people - as well as what she wanted from a relationship.
She said: "The biggest learning for me was to stop apologizing for or minimizing my relationship needs. It took way too long for me to realise that I needed to stop trying to convince people to want a committed relationship.
"I found myself being very accommodating, shrinking my needs to not seem like I’m too much or too needy, but that always eventually eroded my confidence in relation to the people I was dating.
"I learned that dating someone who is reassuring and consistent between their words and actions became my number one priority, but it took years to be honest.
"I took having to chase someone a bit, or them being a bit ambiguous about their interest in me, as a challenge rather than a pretty obvious signal of incompatibility for way longer than I’d like to admit.
"Another big one: someone who is an actively “good listener”, who is curious and who actively tries to understand opinions and beliefs that conflict with their own.
"And finally, I realized a big need of mine is to feel appreciated and seen for my “quirkier” qualities."
Ali Maggioncalda, said she went on her epic date journey after an "amicable" break up with her college sweetheart at the age of 25.
Her five- year dating period started in April 2017 in London where she was studying at the Royal College of Art.
She had several month-long breaks in between before returning to the Bay Area in California in August 2019.
Over the next five years she "grew a lot" while using dating apps to meet potential suitor.
The Stanford University graduate, 31, from San Francisco met her partner Cameron, a tech specialist, in August 2022 in San Francisco.
After graduating Ali founded 'Lovewick', an app which helps couples deepen their relationship with questions to explore together, date ideas, and research-led relationship advice.
Ali said: "When I found myself single and completely new to the “dating strangers” experience the idea of dating apps and having thousands of possibilities was exciting but quickly also became a bit heartbreaking.
"On dating apps there’s this perception of infinite choice, we are so freaking critical and quick to reject someone based on one little “ick” in their profile.
"I made a lot of mistakes here initially. Instead of saying, “eh, he’s not tall enough” or “Hmm, they didn’t go to a very good school”, pause to really reflect on the underlying values associated with those criticisms, and then search for those values in profiles instead.
"For instance, going to a good school was a poor shortcut I used to measure whether someone was curious, disciplined, and able to support themselves financially.
During her dating years Ali said she learned more about herself by meeting so many people - as well as what she wanted from a relationship.
She said: "The biggest learning for me was to stop apologizing for or minimizing my relationship needs. It took way too long for me to realise that I needed to stop trying to convince people to want a committed relationship.
"I found myself being very accommodating, shrinking my needs to not seem like I’m too much or too needy, but that always eventually eroded my confidence in relation to the people I was dating.
"I learned that dating someone who is reassuring and consistent between their words and actions became my number one priority, but it took years to be honest.
"I took having to chase someone a bit, or them being a bit ambiguous about their interest in me, as a challenge rather than a pretty obvious signal of incompatibility for way longer than I’d like to admit.
"Another big one: someone who is an actively “good listener”, who is curious and who actively tries to understand opinions and beliefs that conflict with their own.
"And finally, I realized a big need of mine is to feel appreciated and seen for my “quirkier” qualities."