“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.”
Oscar Wilde

“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”
Winnie the Pooh

“Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.”
Tom Lehrer

“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realise I should have been more specific.”
Lily Tomlin