Talkin' Out Your Ass (Spoken poem with music)
- last year
Partial Lyrics:
Talkin’ out your ass
The people in the desert were bad off
No food no water and only baby cries
They complained about their fate in life
And wondered what they could do on this day
They asked the leader and woke him from bed
But this mistake he could not ever forgive
We could really use a snack or a soda
Said one of them in a voice so very small
Oh yes said the leader and got his box
Opening it he plac’d it at all their feet
Out of it climb’d a serpent and a snake
Before one made the first bite it told them
You are really talkin’ out of your ass
The king said now we have a snake problem
And so he built a high wooden snake statue
And told everyone to bow down to it and
Sing a little song bout their new found hunger
The snakes feasted on the prey by the pole
This was certainly the worst place in mexico
The exterminator was fast asleep
People were banging on the big red door
But his ears were covered and his hat on
No heat on because he forgot to pay it
And the air and the fan were broken too
When he woke from his slumber he told them
You are really talkin’ out of your ass
Ballard was a true man of the wild west
He kept his six shooter on his right hip
And his long rifle placed on the left side
He never had to use them because of
How he was respected but not so fear’d
No one felt the need to challenge him
One day some gold show’d up on his doorstep
It had a note attached to its bag
It read this is from the very king itself
Work for me and we will take the whole world
I need a man with a gun and some eyes
Ballard tore the note and said to himself
You are really talkin’ out of your ass
The king’s mad at the exterminator
Because when he got off of his fat ass
He rig’d the place with such a poison
That it kill’d not the snakes but the women
That the king liked to keep in his harem
He shed tears unlike he had ever before
When his favorite swallowed the poison cake
He wept by her bed even as she chok’d
On all the words that would have condemned him
See the woman didn’t in fact love the man
Because who would respect their kidnapper
She was only able to say the words
You really must be talkin’ out your ass
Ballard was having a night on the town
Breaking bottles over the heads of men
Whose politics were frankly out of line
All debates have to finish like this
When alchemy’s the main philosophy
The exterminator tried to confront
And shouted at Ballard about his teeth
The denture salesman’s very nervous
And the bartender has become quite ill
They all looked at them in complete silence
Wondering as to how Ballard would react
He turned and told the exterminator
You really must be talkin’ out your ass
The exterminator waved his forearms
And asked the bartender did you see that
The bartender bent over a bucket
Since he had too much of his own supplies
The denture salesman’s no help either
Because he’s addicted to laughing gas
Ballard pulled his gun out and fired wildly
And the exterminator could not duck
Talkin’ out your ass
The people in the desert were bad off
No food no water and only baby cries
They complained about their fate in life
And wondered what they could do on this day
They asked the leader and woke him from bed
But this mistake he could not ever forgive
We could really use a snack or a soda
Said one of them in a voice so very small
Oh yes said the leader and got his box
Opening it he plac’d it at all their feet
Out of it climb’d a serpent and a snake
Before one made the first bite it told them
You are really talkin’ out of your ass
The king said now we have a snake problem
And so he built a high wooden snake statue
And told everyone to bow down to it and
Sing a little song bout their new found hunger
The snakes feasted on the prey by the pole
This was certainly the worst place in mexico
The exterminator was fast asleep
People were banging on the big red door
But his ears were covered and his hat on
No heat on because he forgot to pay it
And the air and the fan were broken too
When he woke from his slumber he told them
You are really talkin’ out of your ass
Ballard was a true man of the wild west
He kept his six shooter on his right hip
And his long rifle placed on the left side
He never had to use them because of
How he was respected but not so fear’d
No one felt the need to challenge him
One day some gold show’d up on his doorstep
It had a note attached to its bag
It read this is from the very king itself
Work for me and we will take the whole world
I need a man with a gun and some eyes
Ballard tore the note and said to himself
You are really talkin’ out of your ass
The king’s mad at the exterminator
Because when he got off of his fat ass
He rig’d the place with such a poison
That it kill’d not the snakes but the women
That the king liked to keep in his harem
He shed tears unlike he had ever before
When his favorite swallowed the poison cake
He wept by her bed even as she chok’d
On all the words that would have condemned him
See the woman didn’t in fact love the man
Because who would respect their kidnapper
She was only able to say the words
You really must be talkin’ out your ass
Ballard was having a night on the town
Breaking bottles over the heads of men
Whose politics were frankly out of line
All debates have to finish like this
When alchemy’s the main philosophy
The exterminator tried to confront
And shouted at Ballard about his teeth
The denture salesman’s very nervous
And the bartender has become quite ill
They all looked at them in complete silence
Wondering as to how Ballard would react
He turned and told the exterminator
You really must be talkin’ out your ass
The exterminator waved his forearms
And asked the bartender did you see that
The bartender bent over a bucket
Since he had too much of his own supplies
The denture salesman’s no help either
Because he’s addicted to laughing gas
Ballard pulled his gun out and fired wildly
And the exterminator could not duck