Meet the woman who has ditched "toxic dating habits" to find love through ‘intentional dating’ - being clear from the outset what she does and doesn't want from a partner. Louise Rumball, 32, experienced real heartbreak for the first time at the age of 31 when she was dumped by her partner of one year in December 2020. Heartbroken, she embarked on a journey of self-discovery and decided to start therapy. Her therapist taught her how to ‘intentionally date’ - which meant she had to be clear about what she wanted with someone from the very first date. She also learned how to stop repeating negative patterns - which would lead to heartbreak and rejection. Her psychologist, Dr Tari Mack unpacks unconscious attraction as unknowingly attracting people who reinforce how we feel about ourselves or who repeat patterns of love learned from our childhood. Everyone has universal red flags- such as lying, infidelity and inconsistency but every individual has their own personal deal breakers. Through therapy, Louise met her healthiest partner yet in Tulum, Mexico when she was travelling in March 2022. She is now dating Emanuel, 41, a hotel operations, who she is reuniting with for three months at the end of this week after two months of long distance dating. Now she hopes to inspire other women to 'date with intention' to find their M=mr or ms right. Louise, a podcaster, from Clapham, London, said: “A year and a half ago my boyfriend called me out of the blue and broke up with me. “We were living together, and it was so savage. “I had to go back to my parents’ house, and I never heard from him again. I was devastated. “The magnitude of the heartbreak was so big because I was 31 and as women, we feel our biological clocks are ticking. "I started therapy to help me through the combination of heartbreak and going through the pandemic. "Once I got through the initial shock and grief, I realised there were so many things in therapy that could help me find a healthier relationship next time around. Looking for answers, Louise started therapy and it changed the course of her love life. “The foundation of intentional dating is needing someone whose values align with yours," she said. “I used to confuse chemistry with compatibility until I started therapy. “Just because something feels good, it doesn’t mean it is good.” Louise learned key facts such as learning love isn’t transactional and seeing what type of partner you attract. The founder of Open House – a platform delivering on-demand therapy content - soon found there was a lot more to heartbreak than the surface level feeling of rejection. She said: "As humans we can suffer abandonment wounds - the feeling of intense rejection when someone leaves and also, we have an innate fear of being alone. Dr tari explains that break-ups can become even more painful if you have an abandonment wound- an intense fear that others will leave. After unpacking abandonment wounds, Dr Tari Mack, her psychologist explained the two types of unconscious attraction. The first type is attracting people who reinforce how we feel about ourselves. The second type is attracting patterns of love learnt from childhood. Dr Tari explains that even though we think we are in control of our partner choices, our unconscious attraction leads us to repeatedly choose partners that replicate unhealthy patterns. "I explored my unconscious attraction and unpicked and I learned how we replicate cycles learnt in childhood “I was raised by an incredible father who like many, was committed to working hard to support his family. I didn’t get to spend a lot of time with him. “My model of love was that I felt comfortable with male figures who are not always present physically or emotionally, subconsciously I was attracted to emotionally unavailable men. “Through therapy, I had to learn love isn’t transactional and you don’t have to behave a certain way to deserve love. “Before I felt I was either too much or not enough - I thought if I was quieter, prettier, more successful or skinnier I’d be more deserving of love.” Louise says she consistently attracted the wrong type of man. She discovered key qualifiers – key characteristics, attributes or skills that any healthy partner needs to possess or demonstrate in order for you to consider investing in a relationship with them. She said: "Dr Tari taught me Everyone has 12 key qualifiers that they need in a partner. "Most people write ‘attractive’, ‘kind’, ‘generous’, ‘friendly’ and ‘fun’ but forget to acknowledge key important factors such as ‘consistent’, ‘reliable’ and ‘honest’." Louise says singletons looking for love should also identify their deal breakers and be aware of red flags. For Louise, after being in an abusive relationship in her 20s, her deal breakers which would lead her to cut off a relationship instantly are intense jealously, control