Who Is Kid Rock? Narrated by Jello Biafra
- 5 years ago
Kid Rock is a one-time Senate hopeful, somehow a literal grandpa, advocate of legalizing heroin, and the president’s golf buddy.
Robert James Ritchie was born in Romeo, Michigan in 1971. While he raps about being “straight out the trailer,” Ritchie actually grew up in the upper-middle class. His formative years were spent in a home with a swimming pool, tennis court, and an apple orchard. He moved to Detroit as a teen to pursue his love of rap. He performed as a DJ around the motor city where he got his stage name. People wanted to come out and see “that white kid rock”.
Rock’s first album, “Grits Sandwiches for Breakfast,” came out in 1990. The album, clearly inspired by
Run DMC, showcased Rock’s early rapping chops and featured a special shoutout.
to his future golf buddy. “Now people always ask me and KDC If we take this activity seriously. I reply,
with a sigh rather uniquely and say does Donald Trump have a lotta money?” The album was a total flop and Rock decided to lose his flat top and pivot genres.
After bouncing around record labels, Rock shed his rap roots after experiencing a life altering epiphany: “I realized that...I couldn’t, basically, be black,” he said. After arriving at this stunning realization, Rock switched from hip-hop to southern rock, metal, blues, and everything in between. He signed with Atlantic Records, where he released the album that put him on the map: 1998’s “Devil Without a Cause.” After its release, Ritchie successfully worked his way up the Detroit music ladder, and soon became a multi-platinum--roll icon. He was living large, doing a ton of drugs, physically assaulting people, displaying the confederate flag at his concerts, marrying Pamela Anderson, and even appearing in a sex tape.
In 2012, Rock supported Mitt Romney because he considered him to be super lame. “Actually, Romney strikes me as super fuckin’ honest. He’s a complete nerd,though...that’s kind of what I want going on in there.”
Following the Charleston church massacre by a white supremacist, protesters urged Rock to denounce the Confederate Flag he often used as a backdrop for concerts. Rock wrote an email to Fox News for them to relay to the masses to “kiss my ass.”
In 2016, after supporting Ben Carson for some reason, Rock switched to support a former steak salesman Donald J. Trump for the presidency. He went all in. He sold pro-Trump merchandise on his online shop. The shirts showed red states marked as “America” and blue states marked as “dumbfuckistan.” Another says “Gods, Guns, and Trump!” and one more: “_onald Trump. The ‘D’ is missing because it’s in every hater’s mouth!”
In July of 2017, Rock took his very classy political interests a step further and teased a Senate run, which was interesting considering his stance on narcotics “...they should legalize and tax everything: pot, cocaine, heroin.” A few months later, Rock set the record straight on Howard Stern. "Fuck no, I’m not running for Senate. Are you kidding me? Who couldn’t figure that out? I’m releasing a new album. I’m going on tour too. Are you fucking shitting me?"
A venn diagram of Trump and Kid Rock is seemingly just a giant circle, so it’s no surprise that the two hit the links together to chop it up on the course. It’s unclear whether or not Rock will position himself for another run at something, but his odds of winning might be good considering there’s a former steak salesman turned reality star at the helm.
This video, "Who Is Kid Rock? Narrated by Jello Biafra", first appeared on
nowthisnews.com.
Robert James Ritchie was born in Romeo, Michigan in 1971. While he raps about being “straight out the trailer,” Ritchie actually grew up in the upper-middle class. His formative years were spent in a home with a swimming pool, tennis court, and an apple orchard. He moved to Detroit as a teen to pursue his love of rap. He performed as a DJ around the motor city where he got his stage name. People wanted to come out and see “that white kid rock”.
Rock’s first album, “Grits Sandwiches for Breakfast,” came out in 1990. The album, clearly inspired by
Run DMC, showcased Rock’s early rapping chops and featured a special shoutout.
to his future golf buddy. “Now people always ask me and KDC If we take this activity seriously. I reply,
with a sigh rather uniquely and say does Donald Trump have a lotta money?” The album was a total flop and Rock decided to lose his flat top and pivot genres.
After bouncing around record labels, Rock shed his rap roots after experiencing a life altering epiphany: “I realized that...I couldn’t, basically, be black,” he said. After arriving at this stunning realization, Rock switched from hip-hop to southern rock, metal, blues, and everything in between. He signed with Atlantic Records, where he released the album that put him on the map: 1998’s “Devil Without a Cause.” After its release, Ritchie successfully worked his way up the Detroit music ladder, and soon became a multi-platinum--roll icon. He was living large, doing a ton of drugs, physically assaulting people, displaying the confederate flag at his concerts, marrying Pamela Anderson, and even appearing in a sex tape.
In 2012, Rock supported Mitt Romney because he considered him to be super lame. “Actually, Romney strikes me as super fuckin’ honest. He’s a complete nerd,though...that’s kind of what I want going on in there.”
Following the Charleston church massacre by a white supremacist, protesters urged Rock to denounce the Confederate Flag he often used as a backdrop for concerts. Rock wrote an email to Fox News for them to relay to the masses to “kiss my ass.”
In 2016, after supporting Ben Carson for some reason, Rock switched to support a former steak salesman Donald J. Trump for the presidency. He went all in. He sold pro-Trump merchandise on his online shop. The shirts showed red states marked as “America” and blue states marked as “dumbfuckistan.” Another says “Gods, Guns, and Trump!” and one more: “_onald Trump. The ‘D’ is missing because it’s in every hater’s mouth!”
In July of 2017, Rock took his very classy political interests a step further and teased a Senate run, which was interesting considering his stance on narcotics “...they should legalize and tax everything: pot, cocaine, heroin.” A few months later, Rock set the record straight on Howard Stern. "Fuck no, I’m not running for Senate. Are you kidding me? Who couldn’t figure that out? I’m releasing a new album. I’m going on tour too. Are you fucking shitting me?"
A venn diagram of Trump and Kid Rock is seemingly just a giant circle, so it’s no surprise that the two hit the links together to chop it up on the course. It’s unclear whether or not Rock will position himself for another run at something, but his odds of winning might be good considering there’s a former steak salesman turned reality star at the helm.
This video, "Who Is Kid Rock? Narrated by Jello Biafra", first appeared on
nowthisnews.com.