Having More Dating Choices Makes Us Shallower
- 6 years ago
The more potential dating partners we are choosing from, the more likely we are to choose someone based on looks.
Question: Is it better to have more choices when it comes to
love?Sheena Iyengar: What's interesting is that the
way we go about finding our marriage partners today is quite different
from the way it used to be in this culture. When you look at... I've
done a number of studies with speed dating and Match.com and what's
interesting is that you know we still walk into a speed dating event,
you know, thinking about what it is we're looking for in a mate and so
you ask people, like women will say "I'm looking for somebody who is
really kind and sincere and smart and funny." And guys will say looks
matter, but they'll also say things like "Well, she should be smart and
kind." And you know those are... so the typical responses and if you
give them just a few options, like five or six, then they will rate them
on the very characteristics that they said were really important to
them. You know if they said kindness or funniness was really most
important to them then they will be more likely to say yes to the person
that they thought was kind and funny. Now if you expand their choice
set--say you give them 20 different speed dates--everything goes out
the window. Everybody starts choosing in accordance with looks because
that becomes the easiest criteria by which to weed out all the options
and decide "So who am I going to say yes to?"
Question: Is it better to have more choices when it comes to
love?Sheena Iyengar: What's interesting is that the
way we go about finding our marriage partners today is quite different
from the way it used to be in this culture. When you look at... I've
done a number of studies with speed dating and Match.com and what's
interesting is that you know we still walk into a speed dating event,
you know, thinking about what it is we're looking for in a mate and so
you ask people, like women will say "I'm looking for somebody who is
really kind and sincere and smart and funny." And guys will say looks
matter, but they'll also say things like "Well, she should be smart and
kind." And you know those are... so the typical responses and if you
give them just a few options, like five or six, then they will rate them
on the very characteristics that they said were really important to
them. You know if they said kindness or funniness was really most
important to them then they will be more likely to say yes to the person
that they thought was kind and funny. Now if you expand their choice
set--say you give them 20 different speed dates--everything goes out
the window. Everybody starts choosing in accordance with looks because
that becomes the easiest criteria by which to weed out all the options
and decide "So who am I going to say yes to?"
Question: Is it better to have more choices when it comes to
love?Sheena Iyengar: What's interesting is that the
way we go about finding our marriage partners today is quite different
from the way it used to be in this culture. When you look at... I've
done a number of studies with speed dating and Match.com and what's
interesting is that you know we still walk into a speed dating event,
you know, thinking about what it is we're looking for in a mate and so
you ask people, like women will say "I'm looking for somebody who is
really kind and sincere and smart and funny." And guys will say looks
matter, but they'll also say things like "Well, she should be smart and
kind." And you know those are... so the typical responses and if you
give them just a few options, like five or six, then they will rate them
on the very characteristics that they said were really important to
them. You know if they said kindness or funniness was really most
important to them then they will be more likely to say yes to the person
that they thought was kind and funny. Now if you expand their choice
set--say you give them 20 different speed dates--everything goes out
the window. Everybody starts choosing in accordance with looks because
that becomes the easiest criteria by which to weed out all the options
and decide "So who am I going to say yes to?"
Question: Is it better to have more choices when it comes to
love?Sheena Iyengar: What's interesting is that the
way we go about finding our marriage partners today is quite different
from the way it used to be in this culture. When you look at... I've
done a number of studies with speed dating and Match.com and what's
interesting is that you know we still walk into a speed dating event,
you know, thinking about what it is we're looking for in a mate and so
you ask people, like women will say "I'm looking for somebody who is
really kind and sincere and smart and funny." And guys will say looks
matter, but they'll also say things like "Well, she should be smart and
kind." And you know those are... so the typical responses and if you
give them just a few options, like five or six, then they will rate them
on the very characteristics that they said were really important to
them. You know if they said kindness or funniness was really most
important to them then they will be more likely to say yes to the person
that they thought was kind and funny. Now if you expand their choice
set--say you give them 20 different speed dates--everything goes out
the window. Everybody starts choosing in accordance with looks because
that becomes the easiest criteria by which to weed out all the options
and decide "So who am I going to say yes to?"