Michael Phelps Opens up About His Depression and Suicidal Thoughts The Olympic swimmer discussed his struggles during a mental health conference in Chicago. Really, after every Olympics I think I fell into a major state of depression. I would say '04 was probably the first depression spell I went through. It was after the 2004 Olympics that Phelps was arrested for driving under the influence, part of his struggle with substance abuse as a result of his depression. It would be just me self-medicating myself, basically daily, to try to fix whatever it was that I was trying to run from. Phelps says things only got worse following the 2012 Olympics. I didn't want to be in the sport anymore...I didn't want to be alive anymore. Phelps was eventually convinced to seek treatment and was able to get better. I said to myself so many times, 'Why didn't I do this 10 years ago?' But, I wasn't ready. The swimmer now works to try and eliminate the stigma from mental illness and helping others through it. I think people actually finally understand [mental illness] is real. People are talking about it and I think this is the only way that it can change.