Weekly Reel Summer Movies Sneak Peek Part 3: Spider-Man, Apes & Rough Night
- 7 years ago
Hey, welcome to the Weekly Reel – Big Summer Box Office Edition, Part 3. The place we tell you about the movies you’ll hopefully pay to see but you’ll probably stream for free.
SPIDERMAN:
Warning, a masked high school boy is swinging around the city shooting his web all over everything…
Sounds really bad, doesn’t it?
[00;19 Sup guys? Wait a minute, you guys aren’t the real Avengers, I can tell… Hulk gives it away. Whoa that was awesome.]
Yup, Peter Parker aka Spider Man is back to being a teenager in Spiderman Homecoming… Where Spider Man is literally looking for a date, to homecoming.
And a night out with Tony Stark…
[I get to keep the suit? TS: Of course, doesn’t fit me. Just don’t do anything I would do. And definitely don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. There’s a little grey area in there and that’s where you operate.]
But typical high schoolers just want to break the rules, don’t they?
[00;53 You guys are losers…]
Nuh uh, would a loser save everyone on the Staten Island Ferry?
Would they fight a bad guy named The Vulture played by Birdman’s Michael Keaton?
Would they fly around with Ironman? Or pull a plane away from destroying the city? No.
[But this does not mean you’re an Avenger, incase you were wondering.]
Pff, whatever man... At least he doesn’t have curfew.
Take our advice: This is the sixth Spider Man movie since 2002… See it, don’t see it, it doesn’t matter. He’s never going to be exterminated.
[SOT: Have you come to save your apes?
I came for you.
FX]
Yeah. Looks like Caeser and his posse of primates are going ape shit in the new War for the Planet of the Apes… the 9th installment of the franchise.
And as you can see – they ain’t pulling any punches.
[SOT: FX]
The film is set in the world where Caesar and his apes are forced into a deadly conflict with an army of humans led by that ruthless war lord Woody.
And damn… they don’t monkey around.
Probably because the battle will determine the fate of their species and the future of earth.
So cue the gun fights… [SOT: Fx]
The explosions… [SOT: Fx]
Long walks in the jungles and on the beach…
And get ready to Hail Caesar.
[SOT: You’re him. You’re Caesar.]
Take our advice: Watch it and go bananas.
[SOT: Okay, before we go…]
Yeah, that’s about par for the course in the new raunchy comedy, Rough Night. But if you thought THAT was rough… you ain’t seen nothing yet.
[SOT:
It stars Scarlett Johansson and basically it centers around a group of friends that accidently kill a stripper during her bachelorette party.
[SOT: Does anybody know CPR…. He’s dead.]
It’s basically Hangover, meets Bridesmaid’s, meets Very Bad Things all rolled up into one, and what you get is probably the must-see comedy of the summer.
[SOT: I probably have HPV now…
Not to mention, it’s got Kate McKinnon. And that’s always a good thing.
[SOT: This was the guy in Australia… I can’t because I am vegan]
The film was originally called Rock That Body… and we can kinda see why.
We just now hope that you like it “rough”.
Really…
Really…
Rough.
[SOT: Someone tell me what to do…]
SPIDERMAN:
Warning, a masked high school boy is swinging around the city shooting his web all over everything…
Sounds really bad, doesn’t it?
[00;19 Sup guys? Wait a minute, you guys aren’t the real Avengers, I can tell… Hulk gives it away. Whoa that was awesome.]
Yup, Peter Parker aka Spider Man is back to being a teenager in Spiderman Homecoming… Where Spider Man is literally looking for a date, to homecoming.
And a night out with Tony Stark…
[I get to keep the suit? TS: Of course, doesn’t fit me. Just don’t do anything I would do. And definitely don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. There’s a little grey area in there and that’s where you operate.]
But typical high schoolers just want to break the rules, don’t they?
[00;53 You guys are losers…]
Nuh uh, would a loser save everyone on the Staten Island Ferry?
Would they fight a bad guy named The Vulture played by Birdman’s Michael Keaton?
Would they fly around with Ironman? Or pull a plane away from destroying the city? No.
[But this does not mean you’re an Avenger, incase you were wondering.]
Pff, whatever man... At least he doesn’t have curfew.
Take our advice: This is the sixth Spider Man movie since 2002… See it, don’t see it, it doesn’t matter. He’s never going to be exterminated.
[SOT: Have you come to save your apes?
I came for you.
FX]
Yeah. Looks like Caeser and his posse of primates are going ape shit in the new War for the Planet of the Apes… the 9th installment of the franchise.
And as you can see – they ain’t pulling any punches.
[SOT: FX]
The film is set in the world where Caesar and his apes are forced into a deadly conflict with an army of humans led by that ruthless war lord Woody.
And damn… they don’t monkey around.
Probably because the battle will determine the fate of their species and the future of earth.
So cue the gun fights… [SOT: Fx]
The explosions… [SOT: Fx]
Long walks in the jungles and on the beach…
And get ready to Hail Caesar.
[SOT: You’re him. You’re Caesar.]
Take our advice: Watch it and go bananas.
[SOT: Okay, before we go…]
Yeah, that’s about par for the course in the new raunchy comedy, Rough Night. But if you thought THAT was rough… you ain’t seen nothing yet.
[SOT:
It stars Scarlett Johansson and basically it centers around a group of friends that accidently kill a stripper during her bachelorette party.
[SOT: Does anybody know CPR…. He’s dead.]
It’s basically Hangover, meets Bridesmaid’s, meets Very Bad Things all rolled up into one, and what you get is probably the must-see comedy of the summer.
[SOT: I probably have HPV now…
Not to mention, it’s got Kate McKinnon. And that’s always a good thing.
[SOT: This was the guy in Australia… I can’t because I am vegan]
The film was originally called Rock That Body… and we can kinda see why.
We just now hope that you like it “rough”.
Really…
Really…
Rough.
[SOT: Someone tell me what to do…]