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5 years ago

CONTROVERSIAL: What It's Really Like To Be In An Open Relationship

If you think this is shocking, wait until you hear about how this affects your love life:

Do you believe in polyamory, or should relationships be purely monogamous? Is monogamy actually the cause for sky high divorce rates? What if you’d like to explore, but your partner is reluctant to get on board? YourTango asks one polyamorous couple to give their insight.


I’m pretty sure I believe in Polyamory.

Hi, I’m Carrie, the Editor in Chief of Tango. At Tango, we specialize in smart talk about love. So, you could say it’s our job to know what goes on in everyone’s relationships. Each week we send people out on the street to ask love’s toughest questions. But sometimes, it’s the simplest questions that get the best results. Take this couple. All we asked them was their dating status.

Are you guys in a relationship? Friends? Dating? More than friends with benefits?

I’m pretty sure I believe in Polyamory. Polyamory often misconstrued as polygamy. Polygamy is the idea of a man marrying multiple women. Where as, polyamory is multiple people in multiple loving relationships.

And do you know all the people? Like, is it all your friends on Facebook? Well, to a lesser extent having lots of people as friends is polyamory. This is more about love and to some degree sexuality.

To me it’s about openness and honesty and freedom for everyone involved. I’d say we both figure that one of the biggest problems in America today is the 64 percent divorce rate.

Now why is that? I’m pretty sure the sex life dies. And then thus the communication thus the entire relationship. So if you fix the original problem, the sex life, and you have multiple partners and you still love each other and love yourself, it works. And then we don’t have divorce.

So has that worked for you guys? Are either of you divorced? Never. I’m married.

Ok, and is your husband also polyamorous? Um, he’s reluctantly contemplating it. Yea.

But is he okay with you dating other guys?

Um, well I’m in the exploratory phase of this. This is really new for me so it’s all being worked out. That’s why I said it was complicated. Um, but he’s following me on my journey and we’re not sure it’s gonna end at this point. Are you showing her the text messages with other women right now?

Yea, it’s one of my girlfriends. She’s the one who gave me these that say love and peace. Uh, she’s gonna go out dancing with me Friday and then we’re gonna go to the MET on Saturday. So then, are you going with them?

There’s a really good exhibit at the MET. Wanna come? No, I mean, I have a family, I have allot of friends. I have allot of other things that I’m involved in too so. I don’t necessarily wanna go with him on his dates.

But see it works I have time for all of them. It’s not like I push one out when another one comes in my life. They’re all equally a part of it.

Has someone ever asked you to make a change or have you ever asked someone else to make a change?

Just my discovering ways that I wasn’t fulfilled being in a traditional marriage and a traditional nuclear family that’s been a big shock to the system for him because he would be more content with a more conventional life. So just accepting me in the direction that I’m going in is a huge change that we’re currently struggling with now.

Well kind of the same thing. My family, uh, is struggling with me being polyamorous. They grew up in a very conventional Catholic family. There’s the mother, the father, the son, the daughter. That’s it and then they go to church every Sunday. For me, I pray to Buddha every day of the week not just on Sunday’s and I having love relationships with multiple women. That blows their mind and they can’t handle it. And I’ve asked them to accept me for who I am and they’ve struggled. But they love me so they’d accepted me even though they disagree with the basses of the belief.

And you thought online dating was complicated! Well at Tango we think about these issues everyday but now we want to know what you think. Is polyamory and way to revolutionize monogamy? Or, are you more inclined to tell all three of his girlfriends to run for the hills?
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