History's 3 worst Star Wars games
- 8 years ago
With Star Wars Battlefront upon us, our editors have been reminiscing about our worst gaming experiences with the movie franchise. Which is why on this week’s click-swipe-play we are turning our eyes to a galaxy far far away, with the three most pitiful star wars games ever released.
Oddly, all of our picks are console games that released between 1997 and 2001. Now, I don't know if that our age, or just a bad period for the franchise - but it's something to keep in mind none the less.
Our editor Maria regaled us with tales of the 2001 original Xbox exclusive Star Wars: Obi-Wan.
Of course this came out in the wake of Phantom Menace, while people were still sad about what was happening with the series but with a healthy dose of optimism at seeing a young Anakin and Obi-Wan together in action in the next movie.
Your mission in the game is to complete various missions as you move through your training from Padawan learner to Jedi knight - a journey that is completed as you face off against the final boss, Darth Maul. Through your training you allie with both Mace Windu and Qi-Gong Jin, as they train you in the ways of the force.
It's a good starting point, but it feels like the developer ran out of steam after their first concept meeting. Back in the early 2000s the Xbox was a powerful machine, but the game looked awful, with outdated graphics. This was particularly true of the characters, with Yoda appearance looking like a particularly disturbing halloween mask - which was enough to give Maria nightmares.
No, really, she was actually distressed describing these scenes to us.
But looks were not the only problem, Star Wars Obi-Wan had awful gameplay. You had to constantly fight with the slow camera and the unresponsive controls to get anywhere, all of which made guiding the young jedi feel more like controlling an arthritic sloth.
And, not surprisingly, the mission which tied into the The Phantom Menace did nothing to help the game’s reception.
When Danni discovered Star Wars Yoda Stories in his local video game store back in 1997, he was thrilled by the promises on the cover.
Train as Luke with Yoda!
Infinite levels!
Hundreds of screens!
Deadly puzzles!
What could possibly go wrong? Well, everything it transpires. For instance, it turns out that “training with Yoda” basically consists of you becoming an errand boy. “oh, defeat the deaths star you did, care do I not, bring me a cup of tea you must”. Not really what I anticipated for the hero of the rebellion.
Next, on the lightsaber chopping block are those infinite levels. Randomly generated stages like Diablo 2 might by what you are thinking, and perhaps Lucas Arts were too, but they didn't manage it. Instead all we got were 4 simple templates copied and pasted together in the most mundane way imaginable.
Finally, even after all these years, I still don’t understand the combat. The only thing I learned is that Jawa´s are on average about 10x more dangerous to a Jedi than any Sith. Indeed, not even Jar Jar Binks can mess you up as much of one of the OOTIDING little… well you get the point.
Basically, Star Wars: Yoda Stories should have been named Star Wars: Yoda Seems to have Lost his Keys on Every Planet in the System - at least that would have been accurate.
The Playstation game, Star Wars: Masters of Teräs Käsi was a total abuse of my 18 year-old gullibility - cashing in on my love of the franchise and fighting games, as it stole fifty english pounds from my wallet.
Set between A New Hope and The Empire Strikes back, this little side story sees the movies iconic cast and pits them against Arden Lyn - the last Master of the forgotten fighting art of Teras Kasi - who has been hired by the Emperor to hunt down and destroy the Rebel Alliance.
This leads to some Soul Calibur like fights across a range of fanciful arenas. The problem is, the heros and villians of Star Wars are not well matched in a fist fight. Pitting Darth Vader against Han Solou, or making Luke go toe to toe with a Stormtrooper, simply doesn’t work within the fiction.
When the developers at Lucas Arts tried to balance this out, the results were laughable. Light sabers felt about as effective as a wiffle bats, while unfortunate characters like Tork the Gamorrean guard were left flailing around with axes against series favorites… and trust me when I say that in multiplayer, he was not the characters you were looking for.
Unbalanced, grotty looking, and controlling horribly, Tera Kasi’s only saving grace was its music and the fact that we were all excited for The Phantom Menace. But look how that turned out.
Oddly, all of our picks are console games that released between 1997 and 2001. Now, I don't know if that our age, or just a bad period for the franchise - but it's something to keep in mind none the less.
Our editor Maria regaled us with tales of the 2001 original Xbox exclusive Star Wars: Obi-Wan.
Of course this came out in the wake of Phantom Menace, while people were still sad about what was happening with the series but with a healthy dose of optimism at seeing a young Anakin and Obi-Wan together in action in the next movie.
Your mission in the game is to complete various missions as you move through your training from Padawan learner to Jedi knight - a journey that is completed as you face off against the final boss, Darth Maul. Through your training you allie with both Mace Windu and Qi-Gong Jin, as they train you in the ways of the force.
It's a good starting point, but it feels like the developer ran out of steam after their first concept meeting. Back in the early 2000s the Xbox was a powerful machine, but the game looked awful, with outdated graphics. This was particularly true of the characters, with Yoda appearance looking like a particularly disturbing halloween mask - which was enough to give Maria nightmares.
No, really, she was actually distressed describing these scenes to us.
But looks were not the only problem, Star Wars Obi-Wan had awful gameplay. You had to constantly fight with the slow camera and the unresponsive controls to get anywhere, all of which made guiding the young jedi feel more like controlling an arthritic sloth.
And, not surprisingly, the mission which tied into the The Phantom Menace did nothing to help the game’s reception.
When Danni discovered Star Wars Yoda Stories in his local video game store back in 1997, he was thrilled by the promises on the cover.
Train as Luke with Yoda!
Infinite levels!
Hundreds of screens!
Deadly puzzles!
What could possibly go wrong? Well, everything it transpires. For instance, it turns out that “training with Yoda” basically consists of you becoming an errand boy. “oh, defeat the deaths star you did, care do I not, bring me a cup of tea you must”. Not really what I anticipated for the hero of the rebellion.
Next, on the lightsaber chopping block are those infinite levels. Randomly generated stages like Diablo 2 might by what you are thinking, and perhaps Lucas Arts were too, but they didn't manage it. Instead all we got were 4 simple templates copied and pasted together in the most mundane way imaginable.
Finally, even after all these years, I still don’t understand the combat. The only thing I learned is that Jawa´s are on average about 10x more dangerous to a Jedi than any Sith. Indeed, not even Jar Jar Binks can mess you up as much of one of the OOTIDING little… well you get the point.
Basically, Star Wars: Yoda Stories should have been named Star Wars: Yoda Seems to have Lost his Keys on Every Planet in the System - at least that would have been accurate.
The Playstation game, Star Wars: Masters of Teräs Käsi was a total abuse of my 18 year-old gullibility - cashing in on my love of the franchise and fighting games, as it stole fifty english pounds from my wallet.
Set between A New Hope and The Empire Strikes back, this little side story sees the movies iconic cast and pits them against Arden Lyn - the last Master of the forgotten fighting art of Teras Kasi - who has been hired by the Emperor to hunt down and destroy the Rebel Alliance.
This leads to some Soul Calibur like fights across a range of fanciful arenas. The problem is, the heros and villians of Star Wars are not well matched in a fist fight. Pitting Darth Vader against Han Solou, or making Luke go toe to toe with a Stormtrooper, simply doesn’t work within the fiction.
When the developers at Lucas Arts tried to balance this out, the results were laughable. Light sabers felt about as effective as a wiffle bats, while unfortunate characters like Tork the Gamorrean guard were left flailing around with axes against series favorites… and trust me when I say that in multiplayer, he was not the characters you were looking for.
Unbalanced, grotty looking, and controlling horribly, Tera Kasi’s only saving grace was its music and the fact that we were all excited for The Phantom Menace. But look how that turned out.