Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis and Justin Bieber ( funny or die )
- 8 years ago
Categories: Web Series Sketch Music
Keywords: justin bieber biebs biebers beliebers belieber between two ferns between 2 ferns b2f ferns fern plant interview talk show talk shows talking talks talkative girl girls girlie female looks like lesbians who look like justin bieber lesbian haircut hair purple baby swag teen teens tween tweens teeny boppers music sing singers singer sung singing pop pop star pop music top 100 billboard zach galifianakis scott aukerman comedy bang bang the hangover movie movies tv television web series series
Transcript
[Music Playing]
Zach Galifianakis: It's the right chair, trust me. Hi, welcome to another edition of Between Two Ferns.
Zach Galifianakis: My name is Zach Galifianakis. My guest today is Justin Bieber.
Zach Galifianakis: Thank you, Justin, for being on.
Zach Galifianakis: It's really exciting to talk to you, especially right in the middle of your public meltdown.
Justin Bieber: You gonna say anything?
Zach Galifianakis: Yeah. I just have never interviewed a seven year old before.
Zach Galifianakis: What was the last toy you got in a Happy Meal?
Justin Bieber: I don't think I've ever ordered a Happy Meal.
Zach Galifianakis: Yeah, me either. I don't like that junk.
Justin Bieber: Are you sure?
Zach Galifianakis: You know what I was doing when I was your age?
Justin Bieber: Finishing fourth grade?
Zach Galifianakis: Your young punk attitude is not gonna work in this interview.
Zach Galifianakis: Do you understand me, son? Okay.
Zach Galifianakis: When you're in a concert, what are you thinking on stage?
Justin Bieber: Sometimes, I'm really like damn, I wish I was watching COPS right now.
Zach Galifianakis: Mm-hmm. Do you ever accidentally sing that, instead of your lyrics? I wish I was watching COPS right now?
Justin Bieber: No. I usually, usually I'm just killing it.
Zach Galifianakis: Is it fun to be cocky?
Zach Galifianakis: When you're in the recording studio, do you ever think
Zach Galifianakis: hey, what if I don't make something sh*tty? Is that ever, does that pop into your mind
Zach Galifianakis: in the process?
Justin Bieber: The fact that I'm able to make music and inspire people,
Justin Bieber: I feel like music is a sixth sense.
Zach Galifianakis: It's like that movie?
Zach Galifianakis: You've had three hair styles. What's next for your career?
Justin Bieber: So, you think that [coughs] my hair styles are the only thing that's happened in my career?
Zach Galifianakis: Who are your celebrity friends? Who do you hang with?
Justin Bieber: Mostly, lately, Joey Behar. Pretty much it.
Zach Galifianakis: What's he like?
Justin Bieber: Cool.
Zach Galifianakis: You affectionately refer to your fans as Beaners.
Justin Bieber: No. Beliebers.
Zach Galifianakis: Yeah. That makes more sense.
Zach Galifianakis: You said recently that Anne Frank could have been a Belieber.
Justin Bieber: [coughs] I went to the Anne Frank Museum, and they said that she was into pop culture.
Justin Bieber: And, at the end of an over two hour visit,
Justin Bieber: I said I hope she would have been a Belieber. Not...
Zach Galifianakis: Did you mean that if the Nazis had not taken her,
Zach Galifianakis: and she lived to be in her eighties, she would have liked your music? Presumably due to loss of hearing?
Zach Galifianakis: Or, cause I can see how this could get lost in translation,
Zach Galifianakis: I think that you were talking about time travel, and that you think that if you could build a machine
Zach Galifianakis: and go back to visit Anne Frank, that she would have been a Belieber then.
Zach Galifianakis: Is that, is that true? Cause I don't know what to belieb.
Justin Bieber: I want to be a time traveler.
Zach Galifianakis: You got caught on tape peeing into a bucket.
Zach Galifianakis: Here's the thing, there hasn't been a time in the last six, seven years, that I haven't urinated in a bucket.
Zach Galifianakis: But, I don't film it and put it on, on internets.
Justin Bieber: Ptsh.
Zach Galifianakis: You know what? I don't like your attitude, to be quite honest.
Justin Bieber: You're mad.
Zach Galifianakis: Because! You know what? You're too young to be smoking pot,
Zach Galifianakis: and pee-peeing in buckets, and driving up and down the highway fast!
Zach Galifianakis: I don't think your mom would really mind if a stranger whipped her son!
Justin Bieber: You're not spanking me, man. Ow! What are you doing? Ah! What are you? Doing?
Zach Galifianakis: Woo!
Zach Galifianakis: I'm sorry that I did that. I don't really,
Zach Galifianakis: I don't think spanking kids is really a good thing, but you're not a child.
Zach Galifianakis: That's the point. You're not a child. So, I can hit a grown man with a belt.
Zach Galifianakis: So, who are you dating now?
Zach Galifianakis: You ever seen that Nickelodeon thing where the slime goes down?
Zach Galifianakis: I was in the wrong chair.
[Music Playing]
Keywords: justin bieber biebs biebers beliebers belieber between two ferns between 2 ferns b2f ferns fern plant interview talk show talk shows talking talks talkative girl girls girlie female looks like lesbians who look like justin bieber lesbian haircut hair purple baby swag teen teens tween tweens teeny boppers music sing singers singer sung singing pop pop star pop music top 100 billboard zach galifianakis scott aukerman comedy bang bang the hangover movie movies tv television web series series
Transcript
[Music Playing]
Zach Galifianakis: It's the right chair, trust me. Hi, welcome to another edition of Between Two Ferns.
Zach Galifianakis: My name is Zach Galifianakis. My guest today is Justin Bieber.
Zach Galifianakis: Thank you, Justin, for being on.
Zach Galifianakis: It's really exciting to talk to you, especially right in the middle of your public meltdown.
Justin Bieber: You gonna say anything?
Zach Galifianakis: Yeah. I just have never interviewed a seven year old before.
Zach Galifianakis: What was the last toy you got in a Happy Meal?
Justin Bieber: I don't think I've ever ordered a Happy Meal.
Zach Galifianakis: Yeah, me either. I don't like that junk.
Justin Bieber: Are you sure?
Zach Galifianakis: You know what I was doing when I was your age?
Justin Bieber: Finishing fourth grade?
Zach Galifianakis: Your young punk attitude is not gonna work in this interview.
Zach Galifianakis: Do you understand me, son? Okay.
Zach Galifianakis: When you're in a concert, what are you thinking on stage?
Justin Bieber: Sometimes, I'm really like damn, I wish I was watching COPS right now.
Zach Galifianakis: Mm-hmm. Do you ever accidentally sing that, instead of your lyrics? I wish I was watching COPS right now?
Justin Bieber: No. I usually, usually I'm just killing it.
Zach Galifianakis: Is it fun to be cocky?
Zach Galifianakis: When you're in the recording studio, do you ever think
Zach Galifianakis: hey, what if I don't make something sh*tty? Is that ever, does that pop into your mind
Zach Galifianakis: in the process?
Justin Bieber: The fact that I'm able to make music and inspire people,
Justin Bieber: I feel like music is a sixth sense.
Zach Galifianakis: It's like that movie?
Zach Galifianakis: You've had three hair styles. What's next for your career?
Justin Bieber: So, you think that [coughs] my hair styles are the only thing that's happened in my career?
Zach Galifianakis: Who are your celebrity friends? Who do you hang with?
Justin Bieber: Mostly, lately, Joey Behar. Pretty much it.
Zach Galifianakis: What's he like?
Justin Bieber: Cool.
Zach Galifianakis: You affectionately refer to your fans as Beaners.
Justin Bieber: No. Beliebers.
Zach Galifianakis: Yeah. That makes more sense.
Zach Galifianakis: You said recently that Anne Frank could have been a Belieber.
Justin Bieber: [coughs] I went to the Anne Frank Museum, and they said that she was into pop culture.
Justin Bieber: And, at the end of an over two hour visit,
Justin Bieber: I said I hope she would have been a Belieber. Not...
Zach Galifianakis: Did you mean that if the Nazis had not taken her,
Zach Galifianakis: and she lived to be in her eighties, she would have liked your music? Presumably due to loss of hearing?
Zach Galifianakis: Or, cause I can see how this could get lost in translation,
Zach Galifianakis: I think that you were talking about time travel, and that you think that if you could build a machine
Zach Galifianakis: and go back to visit Anne Frank, that she would have been a Belieber then.
Zach Galifianakis: Is that, is that true? Cause I don't know what to belieb.
Justin Bieber: I want to be a time traveler.
Zach Galifianakis: You got caught on tape peeing into a bucket.
Zach Galifianakis: Here's the thing, there hasn't been a time in the last six, seven years, that I haven't urinated in a bucket.
Zach Galifianakis: But, I don't film it and put it on, on internets.
Justin Bieber: Ptsh.
Zach Galifianakis: You know what? I don't like your attitude, to be quite honest.
Justin Bieber: You're mad.
Zach Galifianakis: Because! You know what? You're too young to be smoking pot,
Zach Galifianakis: and pee-peeing in buckets, and driving up and down the highway fast!
Zach Galifianakis: I don't think your mom would really mind if a stranger whipped her son!
Justin Bieber: You're not spanking me, man. Ow! What are you doing? Ah! What are you? Doing?
Zach Galifianakis: Woo!
Zach Galifianakis: I'm sorry that I did that. I don't really,
Zach Galifianakis: I don't think spanking kids is really a good thing, but you're not a child.
Zach Galifianakis: That's the point. You're not a child. So, I can hit a grown man with a belt.
Zach Galifianakis: So, who are you dating now?
Zach Galifianakis: You ever seen that Nickelodeon thing where the slime goes down?
Zach Galifianakis: I was in the wrong chair.
[Music Playing]