Epic Surströmming challenge fail, bigern666 pukes like Thor (NSFW!)
  • 11 years ago
Surströmming is a traditional Swedish dish prepared with Baltic herring that has been burried in Odin's beard for a full lunar year. It is extracted by submerging Odin in honey, which rejects the surströmming as water rejects oil, for it is salty, foul smelling, and possibly not of terrestrial origin. The process of canning surströmming is fraught with danger, as it is at once both in the can, and out of the can. When the difficult process of surströmming canning has been completed, in a high pressure oxygen free environment, the smell of surströmming on every surface and on every person in the room is so evident that cannery workers are forced to inhabit a quarantined island of their own called Surströmmbukkit.

Although Sweden is a roughly classless society, surströmming cannery workers' nearest social analog would be the dalits of India, or handlers of corpses in Japan, shunned by all. The fruit of their toil, fresh canned surströmming, is actually no longer consumed in Europe and has not been for hundreds of years. Since ancient Laplanders discovered that the acidic meat of the sleeper shark could be made into edible kæstur hákar by burying it in the earth for several years, surströmming has been relegated as an export commodity, sold only to morons on the internet who want to film themselves barfing for lolz.

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